Gender equality and gifts from relatives

[GoneToTheMovies]

I'm very into ensuring my LG although just a toddler is able to access toys that will develop her and any toy i get her i always question if I'd buy it for a boy and vice versa i.e. i make sure it's gender neutral. I'm not a girly girl so rarely dress my LG in pink and don't have any toys for her that aren't gender neutral other than a few hand me downs (pink megablocks), i actively buy her toys she'll love even though they are marketed at boys e.g. train set and tool set. Most of our relatives are aware of our thoughts on this. But we got a gift (cuddley toy) that is super girly for Christmas, super pink and plays annoying music 😅 am i mean if I a)take the batteries out (she hasn't realised it makes noises yet) and give it to her or b) hide it and give to charity

She opened it on Christmas day, briefly played with it and seems to have forgotten about it now

I find that completely ungrateful of you. Just because something is pink, it doesn't mean it is for girls. Surely as someone who cares about gender equality, you can see that pink can be for anyone, boys or girls?

I feel like if a family member is kind enough to give a gift, you should just be grateful. Being negative about gifts is not teaching your child about gratitude.

My 23 month old daughter has lots of 'girly' stuff but she also got a car garage for her Christmas and it's her favourite!

I wouldn't actively avoid things just because they seem 'girly', just as I wouldn't avoid things as they are too boyish.

Thank you! Yes i do feel like I'm being so ungrateful which makes me feel terrible. But i do think it's an interesting observation that if she was a boy she probably wouldn't have received it.

I think if she were a boy, he almost certainly wouldn’t have received it – possibly if he’d asked for it specifically or had a known preference for pink, but perhaps not even then. But to be honest, I think that is more the problem, that a little boy wouldn’t be given something because it was pink. It’s just a colour. Ideally wouldn’t girls and boys have a few things that are pink in amongst all the other colours? At least that’s been our approach for our wee girl’s toys and clothes.

Personally, I don’t see an issue with removing the batteries, especially given covid restrictions and the need to maintain the sanity of the whole household. Also, most people find they have to cull toys periodically to keep the numbers manageable. Toys that parents don’t like and children aren’t fussed about do tend to find themselves being re-homed at the next cull, so if she remains uninterested in it, fair enough you don’t keep giving it house-room.

Honestly are there not better things to be worried about? I think it's important to remember that all types of toys are important for both genders of children. My 33MO girl is very physical and I've been sure to challenge her on that level. We also have tonnes of jigsaws and we have a brio train set and duplo and she plays nicely with all of the above. However she absolutely adores dolls and soft toys and most of her self initiated play is with these types of toys for now at least and that's fine by me. Why on earth would I stop her from playing with something that will help her be a more caring, nurturing and empathetic human being?! To fit my own ideals of what gender equality is? Isn't the whole point that it's their choice? I think there's a fine line between giving your child access to equal learning opportunities and pushing your own agenda onto that child, an agenda which they won't even yet be aware of. It should be about giving them the freedom to express themselves and develop confidence in themselves and their choices not necessarily about them shattering gender stereotypes. Just leave the soft toy out and if she isn't interested then fair enough put it in storage....I don't disagree with removing the batteries though lol. None of the toys in our house make a noise except my piano lol x