Does anyone know about HomeStart?

[squinny101]

I recently posted that I was having problems with my 2 year old daughter. I feel like I hate her sometimes, her behaviour can be so extreme. I got some advice from this page thank you. The other week, I went to see the health visitor to have my newborn weighed and I broke down and cried for a good half an hour. She has suggested that someone from Homestart come to my house. I don't want to seem mean but I feel like it would get my back up if someone came to my house and started telling me what to do. She also suggested parenting classes. I feel like if I accept this help, then I've failed that I have to be taught to be a parent when I've got three children. My son who is 5 never behaved in this extreme way so am not very good at coping with my daughter doing it. At the moment, I feel like my partner is not giving me much support, he truly believes that the sun shines out of her backside. I almost sound jealous of the way he is with her. Its sounds awful but I feel like she is manipulative and he can't see it. He is very busy at work at the moment and when I say I'm tired from looking after three children all day, he says he can't see how I can be. I feel like screaming. This is a full time job so I just want someone to say thank you occasionally. I'm kind of going off the track a bit here. Does anyone have any thoughts on Homestart? THanks.

My mum works for Homestart, and volunteers with them too. Homestart volunteers should not 'tell you what to do', it's up to you what kind of support you want. For example, my mum visits one mum of twins once a week and does things like play with the twins whilst the mum gets things done around the house. They also talk a lot, but the emphasis is more on being a listening ear, a bit like having an extended family (but without the baggage).

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment.

Must dash - hear screams from upstairs, HTH

Hi,

I had a lovely lady from homestart come and see me when dd2 was a baby.
I found it quite hard to cope at the time , my mum had just died and dd2 was not the easiest baby (though she is lovely now!).
They made sure that the lady was wellmatched (in her case she was a motherly type who had suffered a bereavement in the past herself). She came weekly for a cup of tea and a chat and often read dd1 a story or did a jigsaw with her. Everything was confidential , she really was just a friendly ear to talk to and an experienced mother herself. I think homestart is excellent.HTH

Hiya, I've had and been a homestart volunteer, I like you have really struggled with my second child, and my volunteer was great, not only did she offer a listening ear, let me have a bath in peice occasionally!! and let me moan as much as I liked, but she became a really good friend, and is still intouch 5yrs later! I also voluntered between having children, and its not about telling you what to do its about offering support to whatever you deside to do, unless you ask for advice, the best bit is that if you don't get on or deside its not for you you can just tell the organiser and they swap or stop the volunter, I would say try it and see what you think, you can always change your mind! I hope that helps, one last thing admiting you need help is not failing it's showing what a good parent you are by trying to change a bad situation, you should be proud of yourself!!!

appologies for my spelling!!1

I think you should give it a go. I go to a play group run by homestart, it is not meant for families with problems but it is really nice that there are ladies there with no children with them to play with the tots while you have a chat. I found it all a bit patronising at first but i persevered as DD loves it, now im really enjoying it and thinking about volunteering

THat's the thing. I don't want to feel patronised. I get so many people giving me 'the look' when we are out and she is performing. I told my friend, that sometimes, I feel like shutting the door and walking away. I don't have a life anymore just an existence.

I have lovely volunteer and would be lost without her some weeks.

Initially a co-ordinator comes out to talk to you and get and Idea of the kind of help or support you and the family need. They then go away and try to match you with a volunteer. The co-ordinator will bring the volunteer out to meet you, at which point you all sit and discuss how you would like your sessions together to go. The co-ordinator will then leave you to it but will check up by phone to see how things are going. If for some reason it isn't working you can ask for a rematch or ask for the service to stop. It is allways your decision.