His worst ever Tantrum

[Mazzatron]

Hello all,

Last night my son who jus turned 2 had his worst ever tantrum and I just didn't know what to do. We had gone to a Christmas lights trail at 5:30 (which was outdoors and good social distancing - just saying) so very out of his usual routine. He was already over tired as it was his birthday yesterday so a big day and he didn't nap at all.

When it was time to get back in the car and go home he really didn't want to and he was screaming like a wild animal, kicking his legs and hitting himself in the face. He's had plenty of screaming tantrums but not this intense. It lasted about 15 minutes. We were obviously holding him and trying to stop him hurting himself and couldn't let him go because it was very muddy and cold and didn't want him thrashing on the ground like that. He eventually calmed down himself and had a big cuddle but his mood was low and he didn't really speak until bedtime at 7:30.

I realise it happens at this age. Think we could have prepared him more that it was 'time to go home now' - he was having such a nice time and didn't understand why it came to an abrupt end I think?

What else could we do and should I be worried about the face hitting? He's not done that before.

I wouldn't worry about one bad tantrum no. Sounds like he was very tired and it was something out of the ordinary.

Think I would have been tempted to stick him in the car and drive hone ignoring him. I always found with mine that the more attention you gave them during a tantrum, the longer it lasted.

How upsetting! Bit don't worry about it, many parents of toddlers have survived ones that last last that long. Or longer. There are ways of holding a toddler that will make you less likely to get hurt - it's harder for him to hit you if you hold him from behind, though mind for flailing feet and headbutts. But I was never that good at it so to be honest I would have let him roll round in the mud til he calmed himself down and then gone home. Keep an old blanket in the car so you can wrap hime up cosy. The face scratching - unless they're really deep I wouldn't worry. DS did that a couple of times, I kept his nails short. When I was a toddler I used to bang my head against the wall, drove my poor mother crazy but you know what - I never really hurt or injured myself.

The low mood was exhaustion and recovery from this big exciting break in his routine. It's part of the joy of toddler parenting. We want them to be happy because they've had a lovely time but quite likely they're exhausted and miserable afterwards instead. Warning that you are leaving is a good but it wont always fix an utterly exhausted overstimulated toddler. You did right to just get him home safe and to bed as best as you can. I'm sure he'll feel better again today. Try to stay cheerful and don't focus on the bad bits with him, just talk to him about the fun bits of the last few days.

Thanks so much @AmaryllisNightAndDay and @JingleJohnsJulie you've helped me feel much better and put it into perspective. Poor little people and their big feelings eh.

He's tired today and woke very early but been pretty happy all morning so far. He loved the trail itself so I'm still glad we took him - nice to make memories and give him some new experiences even if it did end in tears and thrashing!

Hope you both have a good Christmas