Montessori/help with 23 month old development

[GreyPanther]

I’ve been following all these Montessori mums/kids on Instagram and am very impressed at how calm these kids are and how good they are at playing all these games/doing tasks their parents set up for them.

I’ve been trying to do the same with my 23 mo since he was about 18 months and feel like I am not really making any progress. He shows no interest in things like threading, colour matching/sorting, helping with preparing stuff in the kitchen etc. When I set out games or small world stuff for him he just seems to get frustrated and mess it up.

He’s never once sat down and focussed on something like I see these other kids do. I model stuff for him and try and do it a few times to show him but he often gets annoyed and knocks it out of my hand.

His language skills are good (he knows loads of words and can put together 4 words in a sentence) and he enjoys reading and stacking but I’m just worried I’m not doing enough to help him.

Am I doing something wrong? How are these Montessori toddlers so calm and obedient?! Comparison is the thief of joy I know but I just can’t help feeling like I’m not doing something right. Sleep is major issue for him so is this part of the problem?!

I should add, I don’t do these games/activities with him all the time, just when he’s at home and not in childcare so maybe 4x a week and usually in the afternoon. I don’t force him to do it either!

I think perhaps he's too little? My son is 3.5 and for the longest time (still now, to be honest) he would only engage in something with real concentration if I was there with him. I try to stay out of it, just watching and making the occasional comment if he speaks to me or seems frustrated and in need of support. Even now, I would be there and then gradually back away if not needed. He's never just sat and played by himself for ages. I know some kids do but I think it probably has more to do with temperament than the activities you put in front of them.

At 23 months, really good activities from the Montessori tradition would be things like playing with scoops and cups in a tray of beans or water.

A big principle in Montessori is "follow the child." My son goes to a Montessori nursery part time so he's really familiar with the activities but he doesn't like all of them. He's never shown much interest in practical life activities, like dressing himself and chopping veg. He does this sort of thing more at nursery, where they are just part of how they do things (eg they all wash up their own plates and help care for plants etc). And I haven't had much success with things like language marching cards. I think sometimes these things work better in a school type setting than at home. So I just use the aspects of Montessori he seems to like and don't bother with the rest.

There's a really good book called The Montessori Toddler by Simone Davies with ideas for activities by age, but again, I wouldn't assume your son will like all of them. My son could do some things when she said he'd be able to but not others. He still doesn't like threading at 3.5.