Never taking any notice

[Franniban]

My ds is driving me nuts, he never seems to listen to me. He' 3.5 and generally pretty well behaved, but at times seems to take no notice of me or dh at all. For example we'll tell him to stop running about, he'll stop then just roar off again. It always ends up getting to the point of either me or dh losing our rag and shouting at him.

I don;t think he behaves like that with his grandparents or at pre school.

Our dd is just over two and they do seem to stoak each other up, however, I would expect him to have a level of understanding that is better than hers.

Is it just that I come home from work and we're all tired? Am I expecting too much?

Make him stop what he is doing, Get down to his level, and tell him exactly what the instructions are, Then say if you do it again then you'll have to sit on the stair for 3 minutes. Then ask him if he understands.

If he carries on, on the step for 3 minutes. saying you told him what would happen if he carried on. After a few times of that, he'll get the message. try not to shout, but actually tell him in a calm voice.

I think 3.5 yr olds have very short attention spans. And don't really understand what you are on about, or that it's important, unless you do what Furball suggests and get down on his level, giving clear, simple instructions.

'Stop running about' is probably hard for him to understand especially the unspoken 'indefinitely'. He is stopping, he's just not worked out that you mean 'for good'. Give him something else to do instead. 'Stop running about and come and help me with this jigsaw puzzle/read a story etc. etc.' might work better. If he gets no attention for stopping, he'll probably start again!

Yes, we do get down to his level, and the naughty step is only so effective. I guess you are right about he is stopping, I never thought about it like that. Will try distraction as well. Thanks