Boys aged 4 & 5 - "play" (or not so much play) fighting?

[4under5]

My DS1 has just started reception. He has never been a complete angel, but now the after school trips to the park are turning in to fighting sessions. I don't know what to do. All the boys seem to be in to it, but more often than not it turns nasty. It is getting a bit more than a bit of play fighting. I want to tell my DS1 not to play fight, BUT then he will be the only one not allowed, and I don't want to make the problem worse by making him feel frustrated or left out. Any experienced Mummy's of boys? Is it a common phase, how do you make sure it doesn't get out of hand. There is one boy in particular that is my son's real good friend, but he has an older brother who joins in the fighting, so it gets to a bigger boy level if you know what I mean. If they are there it is always my DS1 that ends up fighting with them. Help please?

Sorry, don't know what to advise. My two are 6 and 7 and play fighting is as essential as breathing. If you can keep it to the park that's good. I'd draw the line at letting older boys get involved. How much older? Are their mothers present?

Have you really got 4 under 5? Congrats for making it to the park!

Chamomile, the mothers are present. Most of them just sit on their bums chatting and texting, although I must admit that the mum of this particular boy does watch, and does make him say sorry if she is aware he's done something. His older bro is nearly 7 so not that much older really. I think what happens is my son wants to play with his friend, his friend wants to fight with his brother, and so my son gets involved in the whole fighting and then gets in the way. I am not saying that he doesn't fight too, as he does, and that is the part of the problem. The other day they were properley on the floor hurting each other. This other boy apparently really boots them etc. I also feel like it is nearly always my son who is involved, but I may be wrong. Yes I have 4 under five, hence why I can't handle having to constantly break up fights, and deal with crying children all the time. Do your sons fight ever get out of hand and end in tears?

It's awful seeing them actually get hurt,isn't it?

My 6 yr old loves to play fight and knows where to draw the line. My 7yr old,unfortunately doesn't. Thankfully I have never seen him be rough in a playground with other children but he does goes overboard with his own brother. It's really hard to deal with ,for,to be honest it's the younger one who usualy starts it so it's hard to know who to tell off.

Perhaps the fact that DS2 still wants to fight so much shows how important it is to boys of that age? I stick to a few rules like absolutely no kicking , no sticks , no fighting with younger children.

If this bigger boy is actually kicking your son you need to say something to the mum but not too harshly for the poor woman probably has to cope with this all the time at home if she is like me!