Am I expecting too much?!

[sibbys]

Hi!
My 5 y/o boy has never started a fight and generally plays better with girls. Some of the boys in his group are however quite violent and hit the other children.
Our son will hit these violent boys back when he is hit. And if the violent boys hit his friends (especially the girls) he will stand in front of them as a shield and hit them back. We have tried to explain to him that if he hits them back he is just as violent as them. He does understand when we talk to him at home but he comes home and tells us he has been hitting back anyway to protect his friends. I do understand why a 5 y/o boy would want to defend himself and his friends but I want him to run away from the fights and get a teacher instead! Am I expecting too much??? What can we do! I know it's silly but I see him getting stabbed on a night out in 15 years because he can't just turn away!

You're expecting too much, he sounds lovely, relax. My DS is nearly 5 and also not rough, I think he does tell teachers a lot and tbh I worry that he's going to make a name for himself as a tell tale! You can't win.

I guess you're right!! You can't win

I think he sounds great. I worry a lot about bullying and I’m always a little bit pleased when I see DD standing up for herself because I think it will make her more ‘bully-proof’. I’d think the same about your little boy.

However, that class full of hitty boys doesn’t sound great. What does the teacher say. I’d be raising that sharpish

@Rainallnight The head teacher responds with "your kid probably hit first". We're considering moving him. They just tell the "naughty kids" off instead of helping them and talking to them.

My DD is four so in Reception and I’d be really concerned if this was happening a lot. There’s one boy she talks about who sounds as though he has SEN, who hits, but it’s just one kid and it sounds like he gets support from a TA. Your DS’s teacher doesn’t sound like they’re taking it seriously at all (sorry I know this isn’t the question you asked!)