did your child used to be a fussy eater?

[kitbit]

...and now is OK? what did you do? when did it change? how did you break the pattern?
help help help

don't panic. My FB was (and still is, a bit) 'fussy' He didn't even like milk, which is a bit tricky when that's all he got for the 1st 6 months...he then got into all the wrong foods (tinned spaghetti, chicken nuggts - this was pre-jamie!) but I was just grateful he ate something. He is still a bit urggh when faced with something new, but he eats loads of what he does like, you have to be patient and wait for him to let you knowwhat those might be! BTW he's 15 now and towers over me - I know, everyone tells you that, but It does get better.

I've had 2 extremely fussy eaters. My now 20y ate everything up to the age of around 4 and then went off practically everything. It all began to change around the time he was 14. Now eats a huge range (and amount) of foods.
My now 15yo has always been fussy. He is now branching out in the food stakes. Eats much more of a variety now but still a bit out of step with what would be considered normal. As with Sparkybabe's ds, they both tower over me and both are fit,lean and healthy.
Try not to let it upset you.

I've got 3 boys (and its usually boys, girls tend to eat anything) and I can guarentee that if one likes something the other 2 won't I always say I only need 1 plate of food between them; ds1 will eat the veg, ds2 the meat and ds3 whatevers left thats not green, preferably covered in butter. They are quite slim compared to others (not a bad thing these days) but eat loads of cakes and biscuits and other bad stuff too.

14??? aaargghhhhh!
He is nearly 3, and has been eating just yogurt, apples and chips for 18 months. I try to make the chips myself and bake them so at least they are not full of fat as he has them so often, and yes he is very healthy and full of energy, but it's tough when he won't eat at preschool and all the perky "keep offering and one day he'll just take some" enthusiasm with which I usually serve up his tea just fails sometimes (today) especially when I have had to explain to yet another person with pursed lips that he eats plenty just not much variety, and no I don't deep fry his tea every night and yes I do try and sneak mashed broccoli into his yogurt. The pursed lips are usually followed by "well of course I have been lucky my daughter was happily eating olives at 11 months and eats absolutely everything I give her". grr
But thanks for the reassurance, I know he will grow out of it but sometimes it helps to hear other mums say so. sigh

My dd2 didn't eat for a LONG time (and it felt longer!). She was very slight and had an undiagnosed gut problem, so it was a tense time. She didn't take to food from the beginning really, and would not be fed - from the start would only eat what she could put in her mouth. There were days (horrid days) I remember feeling so relieved that she had had a spoonful of cereal or eight raisins - in total.
Every meal time was a battle, whatever we did (even just asking her to the table without asking her to eat, which was hard because she was soo skinny).
There was no magic turning point - just gradually she ate a bit more, or would decide to eat something that she had previously refused a hundred times.
She is now nearly 5. Still very skinny. Appetite varies, some days and some meals she can eat so well I could just cry. Other days she won't eat more than half a slice of toast all day. Some days she will eat a food that the next she will make herself retch at. 'Tis bizarre.
She did use food as a control. We now refuse to react to her eating, and it is so much better - but it is easier now I know she CAN eat, but may choose not to.
She is a very bright, athletic, active child, who does seem to need to eat less food that most people think. For about 2 years I used to dread mealtimes, it was a waste of time and a stress, and going out and staying with people was horrid.
Now, I am still aware of this as an issue, but don't push her, and make sure every few days she has something I know she really likes so she can refuel if she wants to. Other than that, I am delighted that I can go out and know that if there is pasta, jacket spud, spag on the menu, that she will eat...
Good luck. I know your issue is different, with it being such limited foods, but things can change for the better over time .

my dd is 20 mths and ate everything until she reached 11 mths!!!! She eats still eats really well at breakfast and lunch is fairly easy with lots of dif s'wichs (refuses to try hot food at lunch)! and will only eat fish fingers, sausage meat balls, chicken satay balls or fish pie (with spinach sauce). having typed that it seems alot but it doesn't feel it most weeks. She is just fussy, she loves fruit and will eat all veg mixed together and liquidised as a snack, but not with her dinner. At nursery she hands back most of the food they offer her without trying it - it's quite funny in a way! My mum just reminds me that my bro only ate potatoes and peas with butter for dinner until he was 18! He is 6ft 3 and very fit and healthy; eats everything now???? Its a control thing for them I am sure but very frustrating when all you want is the best of them. xxx

Hello, from a very very fussy eater (as a child), I have lots of thoughts on the issue

1. Food (and sleep) are pretty much the only things that kids can control themselves. They can control what they eat (ie put in their mouths) but you control what is offered to them.

2. I was damn stubborn and am pretty sure i would have gone very hungry rather than eat certain things.

I would very much like to have a less fussy eater than I was - my dd is only 18mths so now becoming much more 'picky' but as far as I am concerned that relates to no. 1 and is quite important -

my philosophy is

• try and eat all together so she sees us eat normal foods
• no pressure/stress to try things or finish your plate but happy enjoyment in eating and sharing meals
• involve her in preparing meals and becoming familiar with foods even if she doesn't eat them (eg she knows and plays with kiwi but doesn't really want to eat it yet)
• a good diet is over a week not a day
• there are no 'bad' foods but I manipulate what is available to her (and model enjoying a variety of foods) - eg we will have scrambled eggs with loads of veg if she has eaten nothing but potatoes the night before (so she can still choose what to have but only from my selection).

Hope that gives you some ideas. The main thing is not to stress about food and to keep the opportunity to try different things open.

It took me til I was a teenager to get over it (mind you, I think I had other control issues too). But I am over it now!!!!

Oh, and it might not work!! These are just my thoughts on it...

I said to DH tonight at the dinner table "look at that boy wolfing down his roast dinner" and we remembered when he would only eat little sausages. No veg. he was a PITA but when he was about 3 he suddenly changed and would try new foods (with bribery and corruption by me) and now brocolli is his favourite veg and he loves roast chicken and lasagne and shepherd's pie and basically every dinner I put in front of him. I am so happy. It's all a mother asks for, just eat yer dinner!

I have 3 boys. My 13 yo, who used to eat anything and everything has suddenly become picky 'I don't want yorkshire pudding , i don't like it anymore..........!' This is incredible, for the last 5 years I have to make 2 yorkshire puds with a sunday dinner, else they moaned not enough!
Has also now gone off sandwiches (!) and most breakfast cereals (!)
I have no idea what is going on in his head at the moment!

My DD ate cheese, pasta and pesto, canellini beans and bananas for ages. It drove me mad, but was actually fairly balanced. She is 3.5 now, and it a pretty good eater. There are still lots of things she doesn't like, but also lots she does, and she will usually comply with our 'one taste' rule, where she has to have a bite but can leave the rest.

The catalysts for change were; her brother being weaned - she watched him eat all sorts of things that she wouldn't eat. - eating lunch at nursery and eating more frequently with other children. - I think it was just time and she grew out of it.

I agree that pushing it it counterproductive, but I know its hard not to as well. Once he becomes a little more pliable (ie, when he starts growing out of it, which he will, eventually) you could try implementing a 'one taste' rule. We also have the rule that once she has tried something she is allowed to eat fruit and yoghurt if she doesn't like what we're eating, which means she doesn't go hungry, but I am not caught up in making 2 meals, or with worrying about her not eating enough.

Good luck

My dd lived on pasta and prawns for ages. On and boiled eggs and soldiers - and chocolate when she could get her hands on it. She is now 11 and will eat anything except tomatoes. I REALLY think that the less you notice, the quicker it gets better. I was helped in my policy of not making any sort of big deal about eating by a converstaion I had with my best friend, who has a very problematic realtionship both with her mother and with food. She remembers very clearly sitting in her high chair, and realizing that all she had to do to turn the household upsidedown was to refuse food. I don't think many of them are as aware of what they are doing as she was, but I do think the principle's the same.

Offer food with no comment, if it's not eaten, take it away with no comment. She won't starve - but if you're concerned, make sure that she has free access to fruit and, if you like, plain brown bread. Things will change with time.

DD was very fussy after lulling us into a false sense of security when we started weaning (she was the 'eating olives at 10mths' sort of girl ) Suddenly changed and survived on cream cheese sandwiches, Heinz tomato soup and spaghetti hoops for what seemed like years.
At about your DS's age we did a star chart for trying new foods and managed to increase her range of foods to include chicken, tuna, all nuts, dried apricots and a few other things. She then started to tell us that she would eat things when she was 4!!!
A month before her 4th birthday, and with NO input from us, she started trying vegetables and quickly added 5-6 to the sweetcorn that she would eat. A month or two later she did the same thing with fruit. I have no idea why which probably isn't much of a help!

kitbit - my ds1 was so fussy he would only eat a few bits per day; I would knock myself out trying to get food into him. I was told at the time that at 18 month or so he needed about 950 cal per day (as opposed to his eating about 400) so I would put as much fat on his food as poss - loads of butter on the peas or bread, deepfry everything, full fat milk/yog, custard with extra cream (and melted butter if I could) - I know it's not very healthy for a 41 year old, but he needed the fat for growth. Add vit tablets and juice/fruit(which he was good about) and eventho he is still quite slim (at 15) he is healthy and fit. Don't worry so much about the chips!

These postings brought a small smile to my face, when I remembered the conversation I had with my brother's girlfriend this weekend. I mentioned how picky he used to be as a child, she thought I meant as picky as he is now... no, we think of what he eats now as a complete miracle compared to 25 years ago....

My brother survived on turkey burgers and chips for something like 10 years. Oh, and shreddies.

My mum gave him a multivit., and fretted endlessly, and my father was awful.. but then they didn't know that it was a control thing (and boy did it work). Somewhere around going to college time he started making his own food, in prep. for being away from home.. and now he's a brilliant cook.

Although he still feels deprived if he's gone 2 days without meat (girlfriend's a veggie He now eats most meats, fish, and a handful of veggies. But certainly enough to have an extremely round diet.

Do no fret, and then at the very least you will feel better. Everyone here as given great practical advice too - good luck!

oh and I remember following ds1 around with spoons of food, all afternoon it felt like, until one day I got to the end of my rope, flung the spoon down and yelled 'ok stay 2 foot high for the rest of your life!' I did laugh about it and realised I was being stupid and really just left him to it after that (realised how bl**dy idiotic I was being about food)

LOL at "yes I do try to sneak mashed broccoli into his yoghurt".

I have a fussy one and am in the process of having an experience very similar to feethearts - DS announced (2 yrs 8 months) - I will be a man soon and then I will eat my vegetables and get very big. Cue: when will you be a man, DS? A: In seven weeks.

And sure enough in seven weeks he started eating vegetables. Just a few types, but hey.....

honestly, I think it really is a control issue, but the whole "just put it in front of them and they'll eat it if they're hungry" approach doesn't work as a solution to that problem for all children. So I say, if he's healthy, just keep trying not to make a big deal of it to him, and do your best to ignore everyone else's advice on the subject - it will only stress you out, and then make DS more stressed - of course, much easier said than done!

Aw kitbit, I know exactly how you feel, my 3yo ds is pretty much the same. He eats chocolate brioches or marmite toast for breakfast, sausages or chicken dippers with baby sweetcorn for lunch and mostly cinnamon and raisin bagels for tea although sometimes I have to remove the raisins. Oh, he also eats yoghurt but only if it's in 'Frube' form!!!!! His favourite saying is 'I hate fruit' and will tell everyone and anyone this fact. He's been like this since two days after his first birthday, although the range of food has decreased drastically in the last six months. I used to despair when I had something different to give him for lunch and tea every day of the week. Now I just alternate if I'm lucky! I know it's control but just haven't the first clue how to get him to try anything new. I wish you the very best of luck and thank goodness you've got apples!!

(Sorry not to have replied sooner - PC went up in smoke!)

I really DO feel better reading all your answers, thanks so much everyone. I think that day the worry just piled up a bit, most of the time I am more philiosophical (in a gritted teeth kind of way!) and don't make an issue out of it. We have tried to start the "one taste" rule but so far the twice I have gently tried it he showed signs of imminent meltdown so maybe that's for later.
Have also taken in the thoughts about the control issue, and am trying to give him more control over other things in the hope that he might feel more in control of his world generally and relinquish the eating part a little...you never know!

I did tonight though get him to smell a strawberry... maybe smelling new foods with no pressure for a while is a way to begin..? then perhaps graduate to touching them.

thanks wise ladies xx

haven't read the whole thread but i was the most fussy eater ever. i have no idea how my mum coped! at 2 i started to refuse to eat meat-mum had no idea what to do-being a veggie was v unusual then-plus i didn't really eat veg. to be honest i think she gave up and left me to it in the end. but now (i still don't really eat meat) i'll eat and try anything-it just gradually got better over time. i'll now try anything and more healthy than my sis who would eat everything in sight!

just keep offering but don't force, and the odd bit of sneeky hiding of things to make you feel better is all good!

try not to worry-it will get better

Absolutely. DS1 was terrible and would eat virtually nothing. Now he is 7 and has finally started to try (and like) a variety of foods which he previously wouldn't touch.
I remember speaking to docs when he was small and they said a child will never starve themselves and so I just served him up whatever we had and if he ate it he got dessert and if he didn't he went hungry! We had tantrums to begin with but ignored them and now he does not moan about his food but just eats what he likes and leaves the rest.

I am hoping DS2 will begin to do this as he gets older too (although he is not as picky as his brother). I think the key is to not make a fuss about it when they don't eat it.