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Behaviour/development

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5 year old keeps getting in trouble at school

11 replies

Beckychey · 12/12/2020 12:11

Good morning, I'm struggling a little with my eldest child. Shes so funny and bright and a loving little girl. However she also really struggles with direction for example if I'm asking her to tidy up or get dressed she will either get really stroppy, ignore me completely or get distracted while doing it, she's also a total chatterbox but will not think twice about interrupting adults conversation no matter how much we tell her 'just two minutes we're talking' she is an energetic child and really enthusiastic. At home we've always just thought ah it's her personality and how she is. But she's started school in September and the first term was terrible, nearly every night the teacher would be out for 'a word' about her shouting out in class, not sitting still and paying attention at carpet time, she goes to the toilet without telling the teachers. It got a bit much for me and I was dreading picking her up each day incase they came out again, so we had a meeting with the teacher's and they now send out a weekly report on a Friday which is much better. But every week it's the same problems not sitting still at carpet time, shouting out answers or anything that just pops into her head and not following direction. Of course I talk to her about these things at home. But I'm a bit of a loss at what else I can do. She also struggles with changes of routine so this week has been a nightmare with the different Christmas stuff theyve been doing.

Sorry for the long winded post but has anyone any suggestions about how to deal with this as I'm running out of ideas we've tried a treat on a Friday if she gets a good report but it's almost like she's not really bothered about it if she doesn't get it. Same with sticker charts and them kind of reward systems

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JingleJohnsJulie · 12/12/2020 20:43

I don't think she's not bothered, it could be that she genuinely can't stop herself.

Have you spoken to SENCO at school? I would ask them what they think is going on. If she's having difficulty with not shouting out, t could be ADHD/ADD and if she has problems with changes in routine it could be ASD or it could he neither and she could just mature a little.

Whatever is going on, I think you need some support from SENCO at first Smile

CP2701 · 12/12/2020 23:29

Sounds like my life when my eldest daughter started school. She has ADHD, diagnosed at 6.

underneaththeash · 13/12/2020 09:09

She may have some SEN, she may not. She may just be bored/immature? My DS's school had some really badly behaved children in pre-prep and they's just turned into a combination of very high achieving year, but with a significant proportion with ADHD!

At this stage I'd just write down the problems she's having individually and address them, the SENCO may be able to help...eg
Can't sit still on the mat = get a wobble cushion.
Not following direction (two of mine had this issue) - make sure the teachers instructions are easy, only one thing at once.
For the shouting out, you can remind her before you go in, but the teacher just needs to tell her to be quiet.

Beckychey · 13/12/2020 09:29

Ah thank you for your replies, we did actually contact our health visitor while she was in nursery because we thought she could have sen issues, we had a stage where she couldn't bare to wear shoes and socks (this did pass), the health visitor said because she slept really well she probably didn't have adhd. It is possible she is bored, she was already reading when she started school, she's one of the older ones of the year, I suppose they have to try and hit a medium ground so they all have chance to learn. At home it seems to be less of a problem but then there's only two kids here as apposed to 30.

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JingleJohnsJulie · 13/12/2020 09:31

Could you HV be the same as mine? Mine seems to have a degree in talking crap too Hmm

CP2701 · 13/12/2020 09:40

I would definitely ask the school what strategies they have in place to support at the minute. Regardless of a diagnosis or not, if your child is having difficulties, they should have things in place to support as someone mentioned. Like her own spot on the carpet etc to keep her still.

Beckychey · 13/12/2020 12:38

@JingleJohnsJulie

Could you HV be the same as mine? Mine seems to have a degree in talking crap too Hmm
She absolutely could do 😂, with my second she was barely here five minutes for our check up she said you know what your doing so just go through these questions while I check baby etc.

I'll definitely keep a log and address them individually. We have a zoom parents evening straight after the Christmas break so a good chance to question a bit further if they've put any strategies in place since our last meeting. Their a bit evasive at the door at pick up or in replies on the learning app.

I know it's not going to be able to happen but if I could see her behaviour in school there's a huge chance I could help her more. I don't want her to be in trouble for things if she genuinely can't help it.

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pickleparent147 · 04/05/2021 19:00

@Beckychey just wondered how you are getting on with this? Having some similar issues with my son and I’m wondering if anything in particular helped you or if issues are ongoing!

Beckychey · 04/05/2021 19:33

Hey. She has calmed down slightly. I have spoken to school about adhd and they’ve referred us but she won’t be assessed until 6. Going back to school has really helped. I’m not sure if it is just a phase that she seems to be coming out of or there could be some kind of sen issue. Sorry that’s not much help is it really.

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pickleparent147 · 04/05/2021 20:41

@Beckychey thank you for answering 🙂 I hope the improvements continue for you and I’m hoping my one calms down too! Like you said, at home there doesn’t seem to be a problem but I’m not sure if that’s just because he has more attention then. School are trying a few things to support him making the right choices so fingers crossed we see improvements soon!

Bechey · 04/05/2021 20:47

Our school has started to focus on making the right choices, it does seem to be helping and now when I see something brewing I say something along the lines of think about it, what’s the right choice and their doing a lot of lessons outside at the moment which I think really helps. Not today as it’s tipping down. Hopefully it’s just a phase for you as well.

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