My 2.9 year old loves numbers and shapes, should I try to teach him to read?

[befuddleddad]

Hi everyone, mumsnet newbie here, (glad they let me on actually, being a dad and all). My DS1 is 3 months away from being 3. He can count to 20 and recognises the numbers 0-9. He stunned me this evening by correctly identifying a hexagon and pentagon from a shape sorter. I'm a secondary school science teacher and I can spot someone bored with the current curriculum a mile off. A lot of my job is about providing the right environment for kids to develop to the best of their ability. However I know far more about how to challenge an Oxbridge entrant than teaching a toddler. Currently I read to DS1 daily and he often knows the words to simple stories such as "Thomas and the dragon". He loves music and sings songs sometimes when there on and sometimes on his own. I am at a bit of a loss as to know what to do. I could try and teach him to read, using flashcards, fridge magnets or something. A couple of mums on this site have recommended phonics etc, but I'm open to suggestions, including teaching him to play music instead. I don't want to be a pushy parent, but like everyone else I want the best for my kids. Any thoughts?

Hi and welcome to MN, i have a dd (now 3.6), she has been counting since your ds's age and loves learning, she knows all her letters and can write basic word's. I think if they wan't to learn then why not?

My DS is a bit younger than yours and likes counting to 10 and identfying letters. I do encourage him by buying stuff for him if he's already shown an interest - eg in shops he gets the magnetic leters off the shelf and wants me to buy them, so I have, he plays with them and I tell him what the letters are when he asks. But I wouldn't start on an actual "learning to read" strategy at this age, for fear it might become a chore and put him off. I just help him to take an interest, by providing the relevant toys and answering questions he asks.

So in your case I would get him letter and number sets and maybe you can find a toy that's based on shapes and tessellation - then just let him play with them.

Some people may tell you you actively shouldn't let him learn to read until he's older - I don't agree with that. FWIW I could read whole words before I was 3, though usually backwards (?) and no one tried to teach me formally - it was just that like my DS I asked about letters until I'd picked them all up. It was fun for me and so was being able to read to myself at a young age.

Keep teaching him things as long as he enjoys it - I don't think you need flashcards, just read the signs in the street and the cereal packets on the table. One of my kids could read all his letters at 20 months - no one was hothousing him, he just could. He's continuing to be very quick and bright with a fantastic memory. We don't try to give him any special intensive teaching, but do talk to him and play with him at his level, which I imagine means more complex things than one would expect at his age.

the jolly phonics books/songs are great...my dd is a bit older but she loves colouring the pics in, singing the sound songs and doing the actions and doing the writing practice...we never forced it with her she just seemed to be at that stage of trying to read and write

also we get some of the books she knows off by heart and sound out some of the words together

and dr seuss is great with his rhymes

My daughter loved Letterland stories and DVDs from the earliest age, and it really helped her later with her letters.

My dd was like that - at 2 she picked out all the right letter magnets in her name and stuck in them in the right order on the fridge. I hadn't bought them to teach her - they were given to me and I just thought they would keep her happy while I was cooking!

I was a SALT in my previous life and the general consensus was that lots of "pre-literacy" is good, e.g. rhyming games, sound games like I-spy (personally I think the sounds are much more useful than the letters, which they can learn later), and lots of reading stories together and talking about them.

My dd wrote her name at 3 without any encouragement from me. At 4 she started school and her reading just took off immediately.

Flashcards just make me lose the will to live - what on earth do you do with them?!

All sorts of shape games can be helpful. When we were trying to conform to advice not to do anything 'academic' with ds1 when he was very young and avoiding doing letters and numbers with him, he learned all the badges/logos of car manufacturers!

Both mind learned to read early, and I would say it brings many advantages with it, as its child-led, and they are keen and capable, rather than being pushed.

No - but do lots of jigsaw puzzles, lots of dratwing and painting lots of counting the stairs, the steps to the shops, the birds on the telegraph wire - and read, read,read, read to him! He's only tiny - he doesn't needd teaching he needs to play. That's his work and his learning at this stage.

Totally agree KTNoo - flashcards = yawn!

I'd just try and incorporate learning into everyday conversations rather than doing anything formal with him.

Go with what he is interested in and take it to the next stage in a natural way.

Ds is 2.3 and really likes letters and can recognise them all bar a couple, plus he's started counting things (rather than just reciting). He has surprised a few people at our house when the news comes on and he walks over and points to the logo and says 'B,B, C News' (the news is just recognition though as he can't read the word)!

I absolutely haven't formally taught him anything but he is still moving on with stuff but only if he is interested - he turns right off if I try and teach him anything anyway. So definitely imho don't sit down and teach him stuff.

One thing - I really wish, when he'd shown an interest in letters I'd said the phonetic sound rather than the letter name as apparently that is much better for later on when they start reading.

As the others have said follow his lead, and do what he enjoys. My DD was into letters at that age, and was starting to pick them up herself, so we did do Jolly phonics with her (but we avoided the phonemes as I felt that was beyond her at two!). So we used to look for the letters around town, on parking signs etc and do the actions. She loved it. She has gone through stages of enjoying and not wanting to read. I never push it, but wait for her to want to do it, and now at almost 4, she is able to read a basic book... but she has that love of learning, and we only do it when she wants to and I think that is the key. Go back to your teacher training and recall Vygotsky - I find it far more applicable to my daughter than I do my classes. HTH

Hi Everyone, thank you so much for all the replies. I will definitly try some more puzzles (he already does quite a few) and keep on reading to DS1. (including Dr. Suess, I love 'green eggs and ham') Fair point about flashcards, I'll steer well clear, though I'll probably investigate some of the jolly phonics stuff a little more.

DW tells me that DS1 can recgonise his written name, though a small experiment I have just done with letters tells me he can't spell it.

Elkat, thanks for the comments, I did a secondary science PGCE on top of a BSc so no Vygotsky for me I'm afraid, we did almost no early child development at all.

The synthetics phonics lot make quite a big deal about what you should teach first and to steer clear of nameing the letters but instead using the sound that it makes. Anyone any experiance of doing this with toddlers?

Thanks a lot, befuddleddad

Hi - my dd is nearly 5 and just started school. She could name shapes, count and write her name at about the same age as your ds. They taught them the jolly phonics rhymes at nursery and that has continued at school. She's now obviously learning to read and what I've really noticed is (and I'm not particularly thick and have learned to read myself many years ago ) that there is a world of difference between knowing the letter sounds and actually reading.

DD sounds the letters out and then says the word and that is great for lots of words ... cat, dog, big, has, can, on, etc ... but not particularly helpful for the vast majority of them ... the, she, one, two, you, same, etc. So whilst I think the phonics are great, they do also need to learn the letter names as many this does help them with letter sounds too ... low, ate, high, boat, etc. And then there are all those words that just make no sense phonetically at all, that they just have to learn ... that's quite a lot for a not quite 3 year old to grasp, it's a lot for a not quite 5 year old to grasp. DD was reading a book last night and it had Poppy on every page. She'd sound it out, say it, and then the next page she'd have to do it all over again ... and she's doing well at school. She's obviously looking at the words almost letter by letter and not then looking at the whole thing. Which really brings me to the conclusion that we try to teach our children to read far too early!

So basically, I agree in keeping on encouraging, drawing, playing in a way that incorporates numbers, letters, words etc. I Spy is a great game for that ... you can start with "something the colour of ..." or "something the shape of ..." or "something that sounds like ..." if he's not quite ready for traditional I Spy.

That said, my niece was just super-bright and she could read by the time she got to school ... but her parents didn't do anything that you're not already doing and she just picked it up.

Sorry for v.long message and welcome to mumsnet!

Hi, I'd second what everyone else has said. My ds is 3.1 and is learning his letters and his letter sounds simply because he's always loved doing this. I haven't pushed it so far and most he's learnt through a fridge phonics set I've had since he was one. I do have a couple of recommends for you though. Ditch Jolly Phonics and sign up for The Easyread System. I have been doing this online with my son in the last couple of weeks and it's simply amazing. It's on a free trial at the moment, asking only that if it's beneficial you see your way to making a donation at the end. It's not designed for children of this age but you can take it as slow as you like. You can look into it here www.easyreadsystem.com . My other suggestion would be to play I-spy but with letter sounds instead of their names, and also with ryhmes so I-spy with my little eye, something that rhymes with.... We have been doing this for around 9 months and it's made an amazing difference. I think if you have a child who is interested in the letters and their sounds it will do no harm to teach them early, even if it doesn't immediately lead to reading it will doubtless make it a breeze at a later age.

my sd is a similar age and stage to yours. I point to the words in books as i read them to him. Sometimes i get him to guess (he knows the book off by heart) to link what is spoken to what is written. We find letters in graffiti on walks (such as useful teaching aid). Other thing i do is introduce idea of a word being made up of different sounds so do you want a b..? do you want a b i, bi etc.
we also make letters out of bread sticks