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Original poster

Do children with good speech skills have less tantrums than children who are slower to learn speech?

46 replies

morningpaper · 21/10/2007 15:10

Do children with good speech skills have less tantrums than children who are slower to learn speech?

My two were early talkers and have not had tantrums. Do you think the two things are related? Tantrums seem to be (largely) about frustration, and I wonder whether communicating better means less frustration?

What do you think?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 21/10/2007 15:12

IME absolutely yes.

DD1 spoke exceptionally well very early and never ever had a tantrum !!!!!!

I then had "normal" children...............

Wallace · 21/10/2007 15:14

Not IME. DD really good talker, but still huge tantrums

stripeymama · 21/10/2007 15:14

This does seem to be the recieved wisdom.

Not in my house though. DD (4) has always been very articulate but still throws frequent tantrums.Frustration is the main factor in them, but less about not being able to communicate, more about not getting her own way, so there is possibly something in it.

pagwatch · 21/10/2007 15:14

when ds was going through diagnostic process we attended a school for kids with hearing and speech problems - absoloutely every member of staff confirmed that kids tantrum and exhibit behavioural probelsm more commonly than average population - mostly through frustration etc.

WanderingTrolley · 21/10/2007 15:15

I think the two are related, but you have to build into the equation a drama gene.

Early talker - drama gene = few tantrums

Early talker + drama gene = some tantrums

Late talker + drama gene = run and hide

stripeymama · 21/10/2007 15:17

Ah well she must have the drama gene from me then.

Combined with her father's "artistic temperament".

ladymariner · 21/10/2007 15:20

IME the two aren't related. My ds has a stammer but didn't have tantrums, thank the lord!! But I'd rather him have the tantrums if he could be rid of the stammer, I have to say.

CarGirl · 21/10/2007 15:23

TBH I don't think it is just about speech it's also about how good their understanding and reasoning skills are - I first reasoned with dd1 around 9 months, she wanted a drink I explained I had to go and get it and leave her in the lounge and she nodded yes whereas normally she wouldn't have wanted to be left.

Some children with poor speech may still have very good understanding and reasoning skills IYSWIM

moopymoo · 21/10/2007 15:25

ime not in this house. ds2 very articulate - massive drama tantrum thrower. have a friend whose ds has delayed speech and he does seem to tantrum through frustration though. so maybe a link, but more generally normal behaviour for some children.

lucyellensmum · 21/10/2007 15:40

wandering trolley, loving the drama gene, i think that is a gene that gets transcribed at adoslecence too I know my DD1 definately got two copies of that one.

I have to say, mp, you are very lucky that your children have never had tantrums, never?? how strange.

My DD has mild speech delay, she is very placid i can't say she has ever tantrumed through her speech problem as i can definately pinpoint her tantrums to specific things, i can count on 1 hand the amount of inconsolable tantrums that she has had, two major tantrums because she wanted her daddy and he was at work, or just gone out. Tantrum because she doesnt want to get into pushchair. Both irrelevant of speech issues. As she was able to say, daddy duddle, daddy duddle, and could totally understand, no daddy is at work, and then blew her top

Saying that i can see how delayed speech can lead to frustration, maybe dd doesnt tantrum because we communicate really well, we have our own sign language alongside makaton and its great, like having our own secret code. I think that children who are battling with receptive language may battle more as there would be a problem with understanding also.

Hulababy · 21/10/2007 15:54

DD was an early talker and had very good language skills. She had maybe the odd 3 or 4 tantrums, but nothing major and not many. No idea if related, although it must have helped her being able to articulate more clearly to us what she wanted and why.

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 21/10/2007 15:56

We have one with amazing sppech (but not NT), one with great speech (NT) and one with really poor speech (not NT)- disocunting the amazing talker as meltdowns are part of his DX, at the age of 4 certainly the non talker has more (if minor and recitifiable- eg wants to sit in a aprticualr corner) tantrums. BUT the 6.5 year old has loads now, so it doent necessarily stay that way, iyswim.

Original poster
morningpaper · 21/10/2007 15:57

Hmm well I suppose they do occasionally lose the plot, when they are really tired. With the oldest I have sent her to her room until she is calm. But they've never done that screaming-in-shops that I see other children doing. Hurray!

(Actually now I've written that I do remember once bringing the eldest home from the shops after she'd lain on the pavement screaming about something. So maybe they HAVE occasionally lost the plot. But I've never had major problems with regular tantrums per se.)

OP posts:
tassisssss · 21/10/2007 15:59

MP, I've wondered the same in the past. Ds was an early talker and didn't really have tantrums. I'm sure part of the tantruming must be the frustration at not being able tom communicate.

Like WTs wee equations!

ChasingSquirrels · 21/10/2007 16:01

ds1 was a late talker (though not as late as ds2 is looking set to be) and only had a couple of meltdowns, and never of the lying on the floor kicking and screaming variety - but he has a chilled personality, which I think is what determines it.

coppertop · 21/10/2007 16:04

Dd was an early talker but has been having tantrums for a few months now. She's 19mths old. Her tantrums are usually about not getting what she wants immediately or not being allowed to go wherever she likes. She could win awards for her mastery of melodrama.

mrsdarcy · 21/10/2007 16:09

No correlation ime. Mine all spoke fairly early, but the 1st two (boys) didn't have many tantrums. The 3rd (girl) has them all the time!

Littlefish · 21/10/2007 16:12

Dd has great language skills, but throws tantrums both small and large about 5 times a day. I think it's more to do with her drama gene, and hearing the word NO.

cat64 · 21/10/2007 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 21/10/2007 16:25

ds2 had the worst tantrums - the sort you see in Sainsburys and think 'I'm never having children '. He was speech delayed due to chronic glue ear, had very little speech at 2 1/2.

Lulumama · 21/10/2007 16:28

just comparing my two, DS having full conversations by age of 2, had one tantrum , possibly 2, DD barely 50 words by age 2, and lots of frustration and tantrumming / pushing/ shoving .. although it is calming down, but her speech is still nowhere near as good as DSs.. i still have some concerns re her speech. she is 2.3 now and rarely says a 3 word sentence and only just started saying her own name

Blandmum · 21/10/2007 16:29

not all of them no.

dd had very advanced verbal skills, and at 2 was normallt taken for a 3 year old. She was using 7-8 word sentences at about the 14-15 month point. She used to have tantrums that could last for 3 hours. Daily. They lasted from when she was a year to when she was 6. Her language skills are still exceptional.

ds had some speech problems that needed SALT. He still has problems with reading and writing. Expressive language isn;'t his thing. He had two minor tantrums when he was around 2, realised it didn't get him anywhere, and quit

neolara · 21/10/2007 16:31

Yes. I read a speech and language textbook a while ago that said that about 25% of children who have speech and language difficulties at school also have behavioural problems. This figure was hugely higher than children whose language had developed typically, (but I can't remember what it was).

mumofhelen · 21/10/2007 16:32

Not judging by an aquaintance's dd. Excellent speech at 18 months, at 2 years had the speech of a 3 year old. Yet her dd has real all-out tantrums. Worst still, because her speech is so good, everyone can understand what she's saying. I must admit I prefer an incomprehensible child throwing a tantrum at a supermarket, rather one in which everyone shopping can hear "YOU HORRIBLE MOTHER. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. YOU NASTY MOTHER etc etc (I didn't stick around with my aquaintance to find out what else she screamed! I distanced myself )

Blandmum · 21/10/2007 16:34

dd's tantrums were so bad, sometimes she looked as if she was having a fit!

She has a three hour epic , at the age of 6 when we were on holiday once. The reason, I couldn't do what she wanted immediatly, as I was on the phone to someone!

at 10, she is now rather nice , but can still throw a mardy with the best of them