Right, where to begin, my life has been turned upside down in the last three days. I’m still in shock and can’t quite bring myself to accept that this is my new reality.
My ex partner of 13 years (we have an 8 year old son together) I also have three grown up children (all over 18) .
Myself and partner split up amicable a few months ago and he moved out and everything was fine.
We were co-parenting, we got on better as friends, everything was just fine...
Leading to Monday or this week, the police randomly visited the house and were asking questions about my ex and our relationship which I found really weird so I called my ex who said it was down to some bank fraud thing and not to worry so I just went on my way thinking nothing of it.
Wednesday comes and it’s his day to pick the wee one up from school and normally we would correspond via text to arrange etc ....no response from him all day and after 10 phone calls no response again so I went and collected my child. After this I began to get worried so called his place of work and they said he hadn’t shown up that day and they couldn’t get hold of him....I’d only seen him on the Monday/Sunday and he
seemed fine then. My first thoughts were he had been involved in an accident or possibly was just really bad with covid in bed or something but it just wouldn’t get off my mind. I called my mother and father so they could watch my son.
After going to the house, I could see his light was on but no answer, so I banged repeatedly on the door until a neighbour came out and kicked the door in, by this point the police had been called.
I can’t even begin to describe the scene , he had tried to take an overdose via pills which has now ruined his liver and then because that didn’t work has slashed anywhere he could find. There was blood everywhere. An ambulance was called and luckily he was still talking and alive , various notes had been left and he is still in hospital.
I can’t begin to think of why he would end his life when we have an 8 year old so I was unsympathetic and just furious that he could do that.
Anyway, amongst all this, the police arrived and took a statement and then started asking questions more about my little boy....the cogs started ticking in my head. I was told social work would have to be involved and my ex would no longer be allowed unsupervised access ....
Moving forward my ex has now revealed that when he was 17, he used to babysit a 12 year old
girl, now I didn’t even know him or stay anywhere near him when he was that old....he said sometime happened that shouldn’t and the police are charging him with it, now I don’t know any more details than that. The police asked me
To ask my son some questions which I did and all was fine on that front.
BUT, where the heck do I go from here? So far I’ve just told my son that his dads working extra hours because of Christmas....the only people that know are me , mother and father and grown up kids. We live in a small village and I run a business here.
Once this gets out , I can already see the pitchforks even though I wasn’t with him at the time. And I’d hate for my son to be the odd one out at school due to parent gossip or some other child telling my son.
I’m still in complete shock and don’t know what to do. I’m so angry at him for putting us in this position.
What do I tell my son if his dad does go to prison ? I’ve never had a worry about him before obviously but do I still allow supervised visits ? Do I cut off all contact ? I don’t know what’s best to do for my little boy. The police have told
me to speak to victim support who I am but I just can’t see any way of staying in such a small
Place where I’ve always lived once this all
comes out in the local paper etc ?
I don’t want to move , I don’t want to do anything. But I need to start thinking pragmatically and think about how best to move forward to protect my son....
Any advice at all or if anyone has been in a similar situation then please let me know....
I honestly feel like I’m living in an easterners episode at the moment and can’t even bring myself to think of the poor victim as that would just make me want to vomit.