So some of you may have seen my other thread about finding it difficult my kids always want their mum, as some of you coined 'Disney mum'. While not real aged to this post, may provide some background.
2 kids. Boy 7 girl 4. I have 50% parental responsibility. My ex wife doesn't agree with my 'parenting style' as she calls it. I'm very much for boundaries and rules and enforce discipline. 'I'm their dad not their mate' as I put it, where as she's rather more soft 'flexible' shall ways say and finds it hard to stay the course or retain control.--
Anyway my daughter had covid symptoms over the weekend (her weekend) so she called and said she'd best keep them pending a test. Fair enough.
On the Monday she called me midday in hysterics crying and calling my sons name. I absolutely shat myself thinking something terrible happened. I calmed her down and asked what had happened. She said that he'd had a paddy over what what going to be on tv, started slamming doors and calling her names. She'd attempted to escort him to his bedroom for some time out at which point he'd escalated to hair pulling and kicking. This has happened a number of times before and Ofcourse I've been called in.
She said she couldn't cope and didn't know what to do, I was working from home so offered to come get him. We I spoke to him at hers with her and firmly told him his behaviour wasn't acceptable stopped his screen time until he can improve his behaviour etc etc. Later that day I got him to call his mum and apologies and she reinforced the screen punishment / earn back etc.
Still waiting on test results but back with her today.
All resolved I hope.
Anyway, my question/fear/pondering is should I be doing this? Part of me thinks that it's good she calls me for help, but also that I'm going to be seen by my children as the parent who delivers the telling offs/authority. Perhaps this amplifies their desire to be with her and not me. She doesn't want to do it because she'd lose the fun mum image? Perhaps it's good that I'm seen that way long term? Or maybe I should refuse but support her? Let her do the discipline... trouble is in that situation, she can't stop herself crying, she drops to the floor and sobs saying she can't do it.
After she's composed herself she then tells me she can't cope and thinks she needs some professional advice because there something wrong with him. Of course I rebuke the idea (that there's something wrong) only that he's a confused kid who needs firm boundary's and discipline that's apportionate and consistent. If he behaves like that with me, it gets nipped in the bud, but Ofcourse he tells her and she feels the need to tell me she doesn't agree with my parenting style.
Can't really win, but any advice greatly received.