Worried sick about my 21 month old

[Moandy]

Feeling really down and worried. DS is 2 in February and barely says any words. Probably about 6 in total. Doesn't call me or his dad mama/dada even though he could do this from about 9 months- 1 year. He doesn't even attempt to say new words. Does cuddle me and half the time doesn't turn around if I call his name. I worry this is because I had pnd for the first month of his life, but quickly recovered. He's such a happy boy, and socialises well with other kids, smiling and following them around. Just doesn't seem interested in me or his dad. Likes to play on his own. Doesn't really interact with us. We were referred to a nursery nurse who gave us games to improve speech but they weren't any different to ones we already do. I feel like we've done something wrong. I think he will be referred to salt at 2. I'm scared there's another reason why hes like this. Hes always busy on the go and I cant get his attention for long to even try and get him to talk, he just gets frustrated and kicks off. Any advice welcome as I'm worried sick. Family dismiss it and say he will catch up.

It sounds like he may just be slow on speaking. SALT can have a huge waiting list, plus they may want a hearing test first, so go and ask for him to be referred now, don't wait.

For reassurance there was a child who was almost the same age as dd1. DD1 was in sentences before 18 months and was using (correctly) words like "actually" and "probably" by 19 months. The other little girl said almost nothing at 2 years. I think she said "mama" and that was it.
We lost contact and met up again at swimming lessons when they were 4yo and no one would have been able to tell which one had to have SALT for no words and which one was in sentences. Their language skills were exactly the same (and if you go further they got identical GCSE English grades too...)

For now: When you talk to him do you try and get him to talk? "Car, is that a car, can you say car?" He may just be overwhelmed.
Try just saying one word. "Car" as you pass it to him or he points to it. When you're reading to him, point to pictures. "Flower".
If he can say the word "car" then add to it. "yes car. Red car." That's how they build language up.

There's nothing that's really screaming out issues to me here. Some children just are slower to speak without any issues.
But get him on the waiting list for SALT. If his language explodes now and you don't need it, then you can refuse the appointment when it comes up.

I really don't think that this sounds like anything you've done. Depression is normal and it sounds like it only lasted a short time anyway

First thing I'd do is get a hearing test. You can self refer in most areas and SALT will want him to have had his hearing checked.

Then have a look at the Ican website as it has some useful resources. There's also a progress checker that you can do once he's 24 months and information on what to do if he needs some support at that stage.

Whatever you do though, don't do the progress checker now as so much can change in even a short time.

One additional thing I would do though is the mchat test just to see what his risk of ASD is