8 year old responsibility and respect for things.

[1Pinkfluffyelephant]

How can we teach DD who is 8 to take a bit more responsibility for her things and have a bit more respect for her stuff.
A few examples for context:

She takes clothes off and just leaves them on her floor or I give her a pile of clean clothes and ask her to put them away and I find them stuffed in her wardrobe, then moans that she can’t find anything to wear 🤨.

She will be reminded when getting ready for school that she needs to bring her water bottle and reading book downstairs to go in her bag and everyday she will go to walk out the door without either or her coat and bag (I have to remind her as we’re walking out the door otherwise she would get in the car without them).

She will do colouring before bed if she doesn’t feel like reading but ends up going over the edges and drawing on her bedding/carpet despite repeated conversations about leaning on something to avoid this happening.

She has her own bathroom and just doesn’t flush the toilet, leaves her sink filthy, uses up bubble bath and soap etc for potions then complains when she has no bubbles for her bath etc.

There are many other examples but it just seems like basic things that I would expect her to be able to do without constant reminders seem such hard work.
Am I expecting too much or are there things we can do to encourage her to do these things?

Am I expecting too much or are there things we can do to encourage her to do these things.

Sorry, I'd say that you are expecting way too much. You'll probably get a host of MNers appear who all tell you that their little Darlings were all fitting this in between learning Mandarin and mucking out the pony though.

Thanks for your reply. It’s hard to tell as she is generally quite sensible, fantastic with her baby brother, offers to help out around the house etc but things I think I thought she should be doing she doesn’t.
I think it stemmed from her teacher making a comment to another child about it being their own responsibility to remember their homework book/reading book/diary each day and not their mums fault it was left at home. Which made me think it was generally expected at this age to be able to remember to pack their bag and pick it up on the way out.
Maybe I am just expecting too much and so is the teacher?!

@JiltedJohnsJulie
Their little Darlings were all fitting this in between learning Mandarin and mucking out the pony though this made me chuckle

Some kids are very forgetful but once in a routine / habit they can manage the sorts of things that happen every day.

For the stuff she forgets for school - as part of bedtime routine get her to place her bag in a particular spot next to the front door, with books and homework inside it. If she can never find her shoes in the morning you can get her to always take them off when she comes home and leave them in the same spot by the front door. If it is school mornings that she complains of nothing to wear, then she can take the time to choose an outfit and set it out each night. It could take months for this to become habit with you constantly reminding her but once it is habit you will be rewarded by no longer having to chase her up each morning!

For other things - make Saturday morning cleaning day. No one gets to go out and do something fun until they've done a chore they've drawn from the chore bucket (eg vacuum, mop kitchen, sweep outside etc) plus their rooms are clean (clothes put away neatly and dirty clothes in the laundry, and toys etc put away) and bathrooms are clean. If she is messy in between that is up to her. The bathroom won't have time to get gross if it is wiped every week. For toilet flushing not really anything you can do but make a massive fuss at how disgusting it is any time you see it or smell it. Hopefully she will learn that by herself over time. For her bubble bath, maybe put her in control of her own stuff by giving her like a pound a month or whatever to buy stuff like that. If she chooses to waste it that's her prerogative. At the moment she is expecting it to be replaced when it is used up so has no qualms about wasting it.

For her colouring in, get her a breakfast tray to keep next to get bed for colouring. She isn't allowed to colour directly on the bed anymore if age can't be trusted to be careful.

You could be describing my 7.5 year old DD. EXACTLY the same!!