how to discipline my 18 month old boy

[emma06]

My 18 month old boy's behaviour has suddenly changed. He hits out sometimes at other kids. Throws soil/sand into the house or at people! I think this is quite normal behaviour but everyone around me keeps saying i must punish him and tell him off for all these things. I do always say no in a strong voice but all he does is laugh and giggle at me and normally goes back to what he was doing. Everyone is doing my head in about it. I dont think he quite understands when i tell him off he thinks i am playing along with the game. I think he is still a bit too young to udnerstand me telling him off. but everyone around me says you must tell him off and make him cry and udnerstand but however much i say no (i even tried shouting it)he still laughs he is not scared of anything. He is a very tough boy, he always falls over and never cries! I think more towards the age of two they would understand and then maybe do the naughty step. But has anyone got any ideas for now? sorry for going on a bit!

Myds2 is the same. He's 2. It is very hard to get through to them at this age but I think the key is to persevere and eventually it will sink in. I find it more difficult because ds1 was not like that at 2 (although he has his moments at 5!!). ds2 is starting to understand the naughty step. I set the cooker timer for 2 mins and he knows that after that he can get up. He obviously doesn't understand it completely but he knows something is going on! Most of the time I find it is done for attention and through frustration - I know I shouldn't wish his life away but I can't wait until he's a bit older - he seems to have been this age for years!!!

Good question. If you do nothing, he has no way of knowing it's wrong and will continue. If you tell him off, he may not understand. I would try to prevent his doing these things as much as possible by (a) parting him from another child he has hit, and making a fuss of the other child ("Oh sorry, are you all right?")so that the victim is getting the attention but he is prevented from continuing the behaviour and (b) taking the soil out of his hand and bringing him back into the house for a wash, or shutting the door and staying outside with him. If he has made a mess, try to involve him in clearing it up, perhaps the tv has to go off or some other toy has to be taken from him while this happens.

I agree with Elasticwoman, you need to stop what he's doing as well as saying "no". Physically removing him from the situation is clear indication that you don't want him doing what he's doing (whatever it is at the time).

Sounds like he's starting to experiment with boundaries. Agree with elasticwoman that removal is a good technique as ds also started like this at around 18 months. we also used the naughty step from a bit later for extreme behaviour (biting, hitting, kicking, or being repeated naughty when removal didnt work). They do cry, mostly because they start to realise they've done something wrong. The good thing about the naughty step for us is its done and over in the 2 mins. ds knows he's done something wrong, he says sorry, then we carry on afresh. he's normally impecably behaved after the 'step'.

my Ds never bothered when I told him off! tough little soldier that he is!
Removal is all you can usefully do at this age-words are meaningless really even if he hears you!!!
He is still a baby. Don't let people make you think he will grow up into a yob-he won't. Be consistent and realise that he is a baby boy doing what baby boys do!

I did the "no we don't do that because...." and added in distraction.

Also, don't forget the grandparent trick, just distract without the discipline. Part of me thought I should enforce good behaviour AT ALL TIMES otherwise I would be a BAD PARENT, but the other part knew ds was only a toddler and really he could be cut some slack, they're exploring.

I think it's a bit young for the step. We introduced that at 2 1/2 when he could understand cause and effect better and remember why he was sitting there. I think otherwise you can end up trying to make them sit still and the child has forgotten the reason why they're there only that you're making them sit on a step for some reason.

thanks everyone. I will carry on with removal from situation and no and ignore what other people say!!