Help with a two year old's behaviour, nursery is concerned

[itsmeoverhere]

Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting but I have been lurking on these boards for a bit, my son is 2.1, he is an only child and attends nursery a few days a week, nursery have reported to us over the past few weeks that he has been pushing others in his toddler room, this appears to be happening quite a bit, enough for them to be concerned, they tell him no and try to stop him but it just appears to be how he plays, he isn't great at initiating play but he is happy to play alongside other children and he will engage in a number of activities like painting, colouring etc it is mainly the pushing that appears to be out of hand and they have asked for the INCO to be involved, I just want help and advice on how to help him as he doesn't seem to understand, this mainly happens when he is running around, he doesn't get the concept he can get around other children and just seems to push them out of the way, he is not violent but this is causing quite abit of distress, nursery have also said his role play isn't great either so he is lacking in that too, he is slow with his language in that he only says mainly one word sentences but he knows quite a bit of words, he is saying a few two word sentences at home but not in nursery, he is precocious in that he knows & recognises the alphabet, can count to 50 and he can spell 20-30 words so appears ahead in some things but appears to be behind socially and perhaps emotionally? He is happy to be around other kids and when I organise play dates with other mums usually 1 other mum plus a DC he is fine or I am able to stop him if he tries to push, he is also happy playing alongside other DC in the park and will smile at other kids playing etc, He was abit obsessed with the alphabet but I have put the alphabet away and he does appear to be playing with his other toys more now, I have thought about ASD and have requested his 2 year check be brought forward, Any advice anyone can give will be much appreciated and if you have gotten to the end of this post thank you.

I think that you might find the M-Chat Test helpful as it will give you an indication if ASD is a concern

I'm not expert but I have 2 boys and what you describe sounds like totally normal behaviour for a 2 year old. Surprised the nursery doesn't know that, have they suggested any way of dealing with his behaviour? It has to be age appropriate.

I'm a bit sort of at a 2 year old that can spell 30 words though. Repeat letters you've chanted maybe (ie ask him cat he'll say C A T) but I don't think he can spell words really can he? My youngest is 4 and certainly can't

Nothing really jumps out as concerning but the nursery do have the advantage of having had seen hundreds of kids over the years so know what the boundaries of expectation are and what is extreme/concerning. As you mentioned that he was speech delayed, how is his non verbal communication to meet his needs or to share his interests? like for example pointing to a plane or a big bird in the sky to show it to you.

Thank you for your replies, I am finding it abit distressing picking him up from nursery because every day I get reports of him pushing, I spoke to the health visitor who will bring forward his two year old check but really just pulling my hair out at the moment, @NoKnit if I ask him to spell say daddy, fish, cat, dog etc he will spell out the letters, it is just something he loves doing, he was spelling out his name even before he was 2 with blocks, is this considered spelling? He is my first so hard to know but I assumed it was spelling, to be honest I put his blocks away as I am trying to encourage other types of play as given the choice he will play with his alphabet or number blocks for hours, he does love playing with his toy animals though and is a welcome break from playing with the alphabet blocks, he does love learning though and nursery have said the same, the pushing is just driving me to distraction, hopefully I will have his 2 year check soon and take it from there, just finding it hard at the moment

@AladdinMum sorry for the delayed response I didn't get any alerts that I had replies so thought there were none, he is better at pointing to get his needs met like if he wants water or a toy out of reach, he has started pointing to share interest but it appears quite sporadic and not something he does a lot, is this something that can be encouraged or should he just know how to do it

I can't get my head around a
Child with delayed speech, but can spell 30
Words aged 2?

Unless you're saying it, and he's copying you - very unlikely a 2 year old can spell words out off the top of his head

I can't help with the pushing, but my boy was like yours with his reading and love of letters. I used to 'ration' his access to the toy letters (to get him to play with other stuff), but in hindsight I'm not sure it was the right thing to do, as he loved them so much. DS was diagnosed with ASD this year, aged 9, but I think it is quite possible to be 'hyperlexic' without being on the autistic spectrum.

Easy to say, but try not to worry! My DS started speaking in sentences aged about 2.5 and then there was no stopping him! I would never advise pushing reading skills at this age, but I wouldn't discourage it either as it is a great gift to have, and later on you may be able to use the reading to support speech development if needed. I'm sure your boy will go far.

Has your DS come across the Alphablocks yet?

It sounds like your son has 'hyperlexia'

Relieved I came back and find others who agree he can't be spelling at 2. If you've taught him the word of course he can repeat it. But telling him Daddy is D A D D Y is not teaching him to spell is it?

Try him on
Plum
Flower
Gate
Bridge

I'm curious to hear your response