Tics advice please

[mummyeam]

My daughter is 4 and has had Tics for about a year.

She started with a blinking, then we had a throat clearing one which lasted for a few months and when lockdown hit she did a blink, throat clear (grunt) and a hum. She was very anxious during lockdown.

She then returned to routine and they went for about 4 months.

She started primary school in September and since she had a sniff which lasted a couple of weeks (coincided with flu spray and cold), a hum (only when watching tv) and the last 3 weeks has started with the throat clear which seems to be getting worse.

Does anyone have any advice of what we should do?

Thank you

Difficult though it is, the best thing to do is ignore them. Both my older ds have had tics and with the oldest I used to find it really difficult, ask him to stop, give him lots of vitamins etc and I think my anxiety really affected our relationship (he’s 20 now). DS 2 had worse tics from age two and when he was 5 they were quite bad, blinking, sniffing, shrugging shoulders, face grimacing etc. I tried to ignore them and I think around age 5 were when they were at their worst. He’s 14 now and still has the occasional tic now and again but nowhere near as bad. I think the fact that I managed it better has helped.

@candle18 Thank you for responding.

I’m really struggling with it. I have an issue with noise so that makes it hard but the throat clear drives me mad. I don’t say anything to her and I try to be reassuring but I do worry it’s affecting my relationship with her and it makes me really sad.

I’m glad to hear they aren’t as bad for your DS2. Does your 20 year old still struggle with tics?

I’m so scared of a tourettes diagnosis

Hi. No, the 20 yr old grew out of them as well. His were probably worse between age 2 and 8 ish then seemed to gradually improve. He has had some ocd tendencies which sometimes happens along with tics but nothing too severe. I know what you mean about noise, I think my son’s sniffing one was the worse as it was really loud and it used to make me feel so anxious I could hardly bear it. I know what you mean about a Tourette’s diagnosis as that used to scare me as well but I think it’s such a wide spectrum from minor tics to very severe and they really are quite common. The chances are they will improve over time. I’ve tried to investigate triggers and limit certain foods etc but really unsure what is best.

I’m glad yours are both doing okay.

It’s awful isn’t it.

I get anxious around other people about it and what they will think if she’s doing it. School haven’t noticed anything at all.

Yeah I’ve read so much about it and it always says how common they are but I still end up worrying!

She’s got nothing other than tics in terms of behaviours etc but I know they could develop. I think it’s the fear of the unknown that’s the worst isn’t it

Hi, yes the fear of the unknown is what I struggle with. If someone told you it would all be okay in a few years you would probably be fine but if you’re like me you catastrophise, I still do it. One thing I did find helped was keeping a diary, it sounds a bit daft but I would give the tics marks out of 5, with 5 being a really bad day. I did find that they would get to a 4/5 then seem to decline for a while and that helped, knowing it would probably ease a bit. With ds1 I know I was really negative and consumed by it and sadly he probably felt that. With ds2 I tried to think that the worse the tics were the more love he needed. It didn’t always work but helped a bit. Try to look after yourself, take time out etc so that you have the strength to cope with it. Also, tell yourself that the most likely outcome is that she will be fine and that the tics will start to reduce the older she gets. Most of the evidence I’ve read point to that, even with Tourette’s.

Hitting up all these as feeling so desperate about it all. Are you guys talking constant tics? My daughter just developed a new one and it's literally every few seconds. It makes me so, so sad.

Hi,
They come and go and sometimes can be every few seconds and sometimes not many. But she always has at least one at any time. What is the new one? Have you tried anything like vitamins or magnesium? Or been to the GP?

Ignore.

But I would also talk to the GP, as they are obviously an outward sign of her inner anxiety.

My DS developed a stammer at age 7 (after previously having a nervous cough). In the end we took him to a speech therapist who did everything she could to subtly make him stammer. He didn't stammer with her, and she gave us some good advice. The minute we got outside he stammered as we spoke about something mundane.

I would try to work on her anxiety and mental health, rather than the tics. And give yourself a way to de-stress from how they make you feel.

A horrible neck jerk with a slight popping/swallowing noise. It's come after a really quiet period so I'm really worried and upset about it. I worry for her future, and I have a hard time relaxing around her (in a way that I don't around my son, who doesn't tic, even though in some ways he can be a tougher personality). I feel terrible saying that. I'm really struggling.

@taykitty20 I know exactly how you feel, it’s horrible being so anxious around them due to the tics. How old is your dd? My son’s tics were at their worse when he was in primary one, so age 5-6 ish. I felt so worried all the time and like you say couldn’t relax. Just try to remember that the likelihood is that they will improve as she gets older and try to find things you can do to relax and take time out.

The first thing to do is deal with your reaction. Try mindfulness or write down your worries or even therapy or whatever works for you.

Then try to help your child. With patience. It will probably pass unless you pass on your concern so they become more stressed trying to mask.
Try to spot and help with the underlying causes. Everyone's mental health is struggling at present.
And it is worth talking to the GP if only so it is on the record incase there are further issues later. (It could be a tic or could be a symptom of something else.)

Thanks for your replies...it's been going on for over a year so probably warrants a diagnosis. Did you guys go down that route? My daughter is 6; such a nice age, and she's really a wonderful girl but we are struggling. Candle was it all kinds of tics/changing or stable ones over time..? Thanks again...

My son had a lot of different tics and they would change. At their worse he was sniffing really loudly, blinking, mouth movements, shoulder shrugs etc. I really found it heartbreaking at times. I spoke to the GP a few times but they just said they’re quite common. I didn’t pursue any type of diagnosis although he probably would have met the criteria. He’s now 14 and they’re mostly gone, just occasional mild one and they e never been as bad as they were when he was 5/6.

Thanks so much for taking the time even though (luckily!) this is no longer a thing for you guys. Can I ask, did the tics overlap and did kids notice? My worst fear is her being ridiculed for these things and/or things like swear words/tics that really call attention.

I find that some tics have overlapped. So sometimes she might have a sniff and then start with a grunt at the same time then the sniff will go if that makes sense. I can’t put my finger on any triggers they just seem to happen all the time. No kids have noticed yet but my little girl is only 4 so I don’t think they do at that age but that worries me too. It’s the fear of the unknown isn’t it. I’ve had to go on medication for anxiety to manage it have you tried anything like that?

My son’s tics sometimes overlapped as well so he would have 2 or more at once then one would stop and another start. Sometimes there were periods in between with no tics. As far as I’m aware other kids didn’t say anything and he was never made fun of.
@mummyeam I think you have done the right thing going on medication. I wish I had done this with my oldest son who also had tics as I feel I was so anxious that it affected our relationship. My DH managed to be much more relaxed than I was. Have you thought about medication to help you cope with the anxiety @taykitty20?

@candle18 I think it’s really helped me. I’ve been taking them about 8 weeks and I’m much more relaxed about it. I find I’m worse when she gets a new one for a few days and then I settle down but without the tablets I was so bad! Lost 2 stone, my hair was falling out and I cried all the time. I just hate not knowing what’s to come and that there is nothing to help them.
I hope my daughter is like your sons and it doesn’t get any worse.
I’ve also noticed that her Dad has some facial and throat clearing tics/habits and my Dad has a few vocal ones too! But I find them more tolerable for some reason!

Hi again; I actually went on medication last year and it made me feel worse...but I think I didn't stick to it for long enough. And now...well, to be honest we had been thinking of trying for another baby, so I don't know where medication fits into that, but I know I can't think about babies from this place of anxiety either and, if I'm honest, I also really worry about the genetic element of it all. I do have a tic myself, as do several members of my family, but nothing that gets in the way of life or that others would notice. My husband also has a stutter when he's nervous and I know it's the same part of the brain that does it...well, I think it is...Did/do teachers ever say anything to you? Can I also ask what stops/stopped you guys from pursuing diagnosis? For me it's pure fear, which is maybe selfish, and hopes that by not making it a huge deal (diagnosis, support, tourettes action, all of it) it won't become a huge deal if that makes any sense at all. I keep telling myself that all "tourettes" means is that someone has had a combination of tics for a certain amount of time, and by that definition I can name a few people who have it (and whose lives are completely fine) yet it still scares me.

Mollybutton, hope the stammer is better now? My daughter also had one for a few months, and I found that tough too...bless her, there's always been one worry or another with her...

@taykitty20 I felt worse at first especially the first 4/5 weeks but settled now. But yeah not sure how it would work when trying for a baby. Don’t let this stop you from having another baby though. Try focus on the positives. Like you say several family members have them and live a normal life and people don’t notice so hopefully this will be the same for your daughter.
Teachers haven’t noticed it yet and I just think at the moment it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t even know she’s doing it so until or unless it becomes an issue I’ll see somebody then. It’s such a huge spectrum isn’t it so it’s hard and dont know what will happen in the future or if it will get better/worse but most people say they lessen the older they get so clinging to that really x

mummyeam, thx, I think I will try again and get past the shitty 4-5 weeks with the meds. It's really made a difference to how you feel about the tics/go through the day?

@mummyeam it's been a year now (and you might not be active on the forums anymore) but how are things going? Asking as we are a similar situation with our daughter.

Hi,

Still the same really. Mainly verbal still. Throat clear, sniffing and a hum. Tend to last a while every rarely a break.
How is your daughter?

Hi- I realise this is old but how have you all be getting on?