Autism red flags

[Purpleburple123]

I am very concerned about my 11.5 month old son. He is not appearing to understand anything I say and appears unable to follow any commands.
He's clapping to himself but no waving, pointing or other gestures. Makes fairly good eye contact, has always smiled a lot, does sometimes respond to his name by turning to look.
He has started feeding me his food if I get down to his level when he's in the high chair and I open my mouth.
He was hard to wean but now eats really well and eats from a spoon if I hand him a loaded one, and drinks from beaker independently.
He sleeps really well (hopefully will continue!), he's active and crawls everywhere and pulls up. He's just starting to let go and stand for a few seconds.

My real concern is the not understanding or following directions. I haven't gone to any groups due to covid and my husband and I have had very little social contact as no family near by, haven't seen friends much with Covid restrictions. Also had a family death 5 months ago which lead to a lot of stress/exhaustion for us so I think he had less interactive play or our time etc at that time.

What red flags did you pick up at that age if your child has autism/learning disabilities.

My husband and I are so isolated atm. Health visitors have referred for hearing test but nothing else. We have arranged to see a private paediatrician this week to see if they can give us some advice.

So so anxious and devastated that our lives may be about to change with a big diagnosis like autism.

I feel you're perhaps jumping the gun a little bit. My little girl couldn't follow instructions at that age but by about 15 months she could. We got a little worried so we decided to just spend a lot of the day playing with her and basically narrating everything we did in order for her to understand what things were etc. She didn't start pointing until the day she turned 18 months. She is now great at sharing her interests! Just try and be more interactive with your little one if you are worried but try not to get ahead of yourself. Try and enjoy your baby, you won't get this time back.

Read lots of books and sing a lot of nursery rhymes with actions. Row your boat etc.

@CP2701

I feel you're perhaps jumping the gun a little bit. My little girl couldn't follow instructions at that age but by about 15 months she could. We got a little worried so we decided to just spend a lot of the day playing with her and basically narrating everything we did in order for her to understand what things were etc. She didn't start pointing until the day she turned 18 months. She is now great at sharing her interests! Just try and be more interactive with your little one if you are worried but try not to get ahead of yourself. Try and enjoy your baby, you won't get this time back.

Read lots of books and sing a lot of nursery rhymes with actions. Row your boat etc.

Thank you for your reply. It's difficult when you get the questionnaires from the health visitor and he seems so far behind. We are putting in so much effort now to really engage and play with him/read to him/ play nursery rhymes etc. I didn't let him watch TV before as I thought it wasn't meant to be a good thing but now I've changed that and he watch's nursery rhymes for about 15 mins a day

@Purpleburple123 Hi, 2020 has definitely been a difficult year and its no wonder you and your little one being so isolated. I know its very hard but please try not to worry too much yet, he is still very young and way to young to be diagnosed with any issues. I'm an early years practitioner and I've worked with many SEN children and many children in general. I can tell you honestly no child is the same what so ever. Those questionnaires are there to get a general idea, they cannot say much about a child just by ticking off boxes and very rarely would a child tick them all off at the correct age. I have come across 3 year olds and mine included that are absolutely incapable of following instructions or even acknowledge that im speaking to them my own DD was very slow to talk barely even babbling at 1 year and now she never stops speaking. A few months can have a huge impact on their development and I wouldn't worry about them hitting their milestones until at least 2-3. Just keep doing as you are, some TV will do no harm and watching nursery rhymes and dancing are great ways to have fun. If you are seeing improvements in his development every month such as trying new foods, playing with different toys, dancing, looking at books, trying to communicate even with eye contact at this age. I would say he is right on track

Wait are 11MO's meant to follow instructions? I thought my LO's receptive language was really quite good but she would probably follow a couple of instructions at most at this age. I think you're jumping the gun a bit. Definitely sensible to get hearing checked but everything else I'd just wait and see how things pan out and see where he's at at 18MO. Try www.teachmetotalk.com for lots of good tips on how speech is aquired and how to promote it but I honestly wouldn't panic xx

By instructions I meant 'hand me the ball or point at the dog or clap your hands'. This is my understanding of baby milestones but it does seem advanced

Oh yeh I got what you meant. I don't think mine followed many at 11MO. By just 14MO she understood quite a bit even quite complex things like behind you etc and now at 2.5 pretty much nothing gets past her lol. They develop so rapidly at this age. I really wouldn't worry xx

@Purpleburple123 I know many will say this but here - I have a 13mo. He does not clap, wave, point, he does not follow any instructions at all (none) and he is a happy smiley baby. I am not even little bit worried.

His 12m appointment was a disaster, he was so behind the HV said if she has not seen (on screen) he is happy she'd have serious concerns for his wellbeing. Am I worried? Not at all.

He eats well, sleeps well (sometimes) and he is smiley happy baby curious about life. He started walking at 11m and that is really the only thing he does "early". He also loves animals, so it can't be all that bad :)

My point is - enjoy the baby experience, if he is healthy and happy just show him you love him and everything else will come.

/also both me and DH have ASD so perhaps that is why I am just not too worried about this, in case some other people would be, because it's really not a big deal.

My baby is 11 months and doesn’t follow instructions either, honestly I think that form the HVs give you is ridiculous because how are babies supposed to follow instructions when they don’t have much of an understanding of words. He sounds absolutely fine to me from what you’ve said!

I did all the clubs and have loads of mates with kids. I can't think of any that could follow instructions at 11 months. The HV questionnaires are frequently nonsense.

He sounds fine to me! I don’t think my DS did those things at that age. He didn’t point until he was 16 months. He’s 2.5 now and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have autism.

Nothing I would be worrying about or doing anything about at that age, from your Opening post Purpleburple123
All little ones are different, but I wouldn't be expecting the average baby of 11.5months to be following instructions like that at all.
Enjoy your little on and continue to talk to them, play with them and enjoy and laugh with them.

My son didn't follow instructions until he was way older than that! I was really worried because my friend's son could go and fetch her slippers or turn the TV on when she told him to. My son didn't seem to understand anything! But then suddenly he did. It was as though it was overnight. I don't know if he suddenly decided to listen and do what he was told, orif he genuinely didn't understand before, but he suddenly got it. A lot of things in his development happened really rapidly - one minute I was worried and the next he was suddenly doing it. He's just turned 2 years old now and is speaking in 3 word sentences and understands EVERYTHING. I also didn't let him watch any TV until he was 2. Now he watches upto 30 mins a day and I confess I think it has helped (he now knows his colours and numbers etc) but I honestly don't think it's necessary. He was always quite behind on the ASQs (once he had two black boxes, one white and all the test were grey) but he caught up and now he's all white with one grey so I'm really pleased.

By all means see the private paediatrician but just be aware that from my own personal experience, you could be suffering from a form of anxiety? I definitely suffered with postnatal health anxiety (was worried about everything with my son) and occasionally I can feel that rearing up again. Just bear that in mind. I made similar appointments as you though and they were helpful to put my mind at ease and to know I was doing everything I could. Good luck!

Aaaah OP those questionnaires are tough! I've just had DD assessment and she completely 'failed' her gross motor section. Not one point because she can't pull herself to stand and each activity relied on her being able to stand up in some way really. I can put her in a standing position but it's not the same - so she can weight bear but she can't cruise or lower herself or pick things off the floor.
The HV wasn't even remotely worried as she could see her crawling all over and she is quite close to pulling up so she is making progress. She told me babies can't do everything, they are looking at general areas that we may need support in but it's quite hit and miss what they can and can't do.

Also, the instructions DD can follow are things like 'bash bash' (two toys together) or 'come Mama' (which isn't guaranteed every time!) and she's recently started pointing but mostly she points her finger up her nose ! She fetches no slippers and if she turns the TV on it's because she's nicked the remote and pushed every button before I can drop her .... and she excelled in all the sections other than gross motor so they were perfectly happy with that being on track.

@Purpleburple123 How is your son doing now?

@Purpleburple123 Hii how’s your little one now?