4 yr old v bad at nursery - I am worried he will have SEN

[MrsPuddleduck]

I have just been told by DS1's nursery teacher that aparently he has more bad days than good. That will serve me right for asking - I usually keep my head down and make a sharp exit nowadays.

Aparently he is very distracted and at times doesn't like to do as he is told. Sometimes he says he gets bored and starts hitting out at children (this has thankfully only happened twice). He ended up in the headmasters office on week 6 of nursery.

Today I was told that he was just talking endlessly and she couldn't get him to concentrate enough to put his shoes on.

She has previously told me that he is bright and that he has an exceptional vocabulary and she has told DH that he gets frustrated with nursery because he is more advanced than the other children.

Does anyone else think that these are mixed messages? I now wonder if next year in reception they are going to say he has SEN because they wont be able to get him to comply.

Has anyone ever experienced similar behaviour?

Is this a nursery attached to a school? I volunteered today at ds' nursery and there were 3/4 children (3/4yr olds) who really didn't do as they were told, wouldn't sit still/be quiet when they were told, didn't play properly with the toys, were snatching from other children and TBH I think this is perfectly normal at this stage. They are still learning nursery routines and how to behave and listen and obey. The staff have methods of discipline and hopefully things will settle down as they get used to things.

I thought it was normal behaviour - but I feel that I am being singled out as a parent.

It is really getting me down. DH's response is to come down on him like a ton of bricks which also makes me very unhappy - but at the end of the day I just want him to behave.

Sound like normal behaviour tbh, it think alot of nurserys expect to much from alot a kids, when does he start school?

however if you are concerned maybe you could ask if your sons Nursery have a special need Teacher (SENCO), ifso maybe you can ask for them to make some observations.

okay he's bright and so is getting frustrated and so is playing up.

nursery needs to be aware of this and give him stuff to do that challenges him.

he needs to learn that sometimes you have to do what you are told

either way you need to talk to his teacher

I hate talking to the teacher - I find the whole thing embarassing and she makes me feel small. I'm sure it there is special day in teacher training collge where they take them all to one side and teach them how to patronise parents (apologies to all teachers).

I think the problem is that he is a September birthday (5th) and was probably ready mentally for school - but definitely not emotionally.

He is at a nursery unit attached to a school and will start reception next September

His behaviour sounds normal to me. Learning to sit still, concentrate, pay attention, learning to play with others, learning to share and socialise is what nursery is for IMHO. If they could all do all of the above before they went to nursery then what is the point of it. Have a word with the teacher again - or maybe speak to one of the nursery nurses - they often have a different perspective on things. Good luck.