3 (going on 4) Year Old Boy - Meltdowns

[Pete80]

Hi,

My son gets incredibly frustrated when he is unable to make something work, or something does not work as he would want it to and starts having a full on meltdown.

I have tried various methods - coddling him, refusing to play with him while he is angry, or scolding him and putting him into a corner for a few minutes etc and while he is definitely manageable I want to be sure I am handling things in the best way for him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

You could try some reflective listening, but using really short sentences

You are cross
Really really cross
It wont work
It’s annoying you
Silly truck

I used to sit on the floor next to my melting down dc, i wouldnt even look at them, but would just speak in a slow calm quiet voice. They didnt usually hear the first couple of statements, but after a couple would listen and it would help as I think part of the problem is that they cant get the words out to express their frustration which makes it worse for them. So you are modeling that it is ok to be cross and annoyed and a good way to communicate those feeling. I usually found that the dc would be in my lap after a few minutes for a cuddle while I kept saying things like silly truck, why wont it work, its annoying you.

Then after they were calm I made a suggestion to maybe try again and maybe it will get stuck again, or maybe find a bigger space to park it! And they would be receptive to the suggestion

I have a four year old son, he has tantrums on occasion when we say no or he diesnt feel like sharing with his sister. We have tried a few things, but the most effective for us at the moment is moving him to a safe place and just sitting with him, telling him that I'm here and ready when he wants to talk but explaining that his behaviour is not a good choice and we all need to make good choices , he now recognises ( or is starting to ) quite quickly when he has not made a good choice etc, the duration of the tantrums is getting shorter x