Dummies - are they lifesavers or evil necessities? What is the general opinion?

[greenday]

Your honest and brutal opinions please ...

My two never had one - never saw the point. DS1 did feed all the time but I doubt very much if he would have taken a dummy even if I had tried to give him one. We had enough trouble getting him to sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time without him crying because he lost his dummy too. DS2 just never needed one.

I don't like seeing children with dummies in their mouths either, especially older ones who just look like they have completely glazed over most of the time.

I would just say though, that in the past I would have been a bit more anti than I am now but I have learnt that it really is a case of whatever gets you through - babies are hard enough work without worrying about other people's opinions. So long as it works for you and nobody is harmed it doesn't matter what I think!

Ugh, dummies, when DD was bron she was 8weeks prem, and they tried to give her a newborn dummy in SCBU, but she wouldnt take it, so we didnt bother. Then when she was about 6 months old she went to stay at my ex's sisters house, who gave her one of her sons dummies when she cried. It was ne of the big cherry ones, and DD loved it, so as of then she had one.

DS was breastfed and at times I knew he was sucking for comfort rather than food so he ended up with a dummy too.

I dont see the big problem with them up to a decent age, both mine had theirs taken by the dummy fairy before they were two.

I get really irate seeing children of 2 and above with dummies in their mouth.

lifesavers. dd1 loved hers, she had it till she was 4. (shoot me now). she was, and still is, a very sucky child. she now chews things instead. she used to chew on the rubber teat on dummies. the cheapo cherry ones were her favourite.

dd2 gave it up at 6months

dd3 never took to one.

dummies rock. DD1 had one until she was 3. DD2 sucks her thumb which is far worse IMO.

oh dd3 has a thing for 'silkies' instead. she was very happy when she found a silky tag in her footmuff the other day.

agree with neicie - whatever gets you through....

Life-savers.

Depends on baby. Generally useful though as its just another option to try when they grumpy. dd1 was a total addict from birth (breastfed too, i didnt know anything about nipple confusion then an it never happened luckily. But got rid by 2.5 as it looked a bit silly and she decided she wasnt a baby anymore.

dd2 less keen but useful for naps

they provoke strong reaction and are contentious, but me dont care no opinion

I am now a big fan of dummies. I hadn't planned to use one but DD2 was in intensive care and fed by tube for some weeks after she was born and I was told that giving her a dummy would help her to connect the milk going in with sucking. It seemed to work as she began to breastfeed at three weeks old much to everyone's delight. She has been in hospital many times since then and her dummy has definitely given her great comfort at times. She is now two and has really excellent speech and no tooth problems.

On a more general note, I think that if you can get by without a dummy without tearing your hair out then do as kids can become overly attached to them, but IMO it's much better to give a dummy for a while than have a nervous breakdown. Some friends of ours were vehemently anti-dummy and preferered to drive their babies/toddlers around in the car in the dead of night to calm them rather than give in to the 'evil' pacifier.

Patsy

Dummies, blankets, teddies, pieces of ribbon/fabric, anything baby gets comfort from.... all attachment objects.

I have never understood how someone can differentiate between say, a dummy and a teddy. Both give the child comfort/help sleep etc.

I bet most wouldn't take away the teddy... but a dummy is a reviled object

MBS - A teddy is cute to the parent/other observing adults

A baby who likes a dummy for comfort doesn't give a rat's arse if it looks cute or not

Sooo true Bernard.

i hate them in a snobbish kind of way. ds1 never had one and i was oh so smug about it, couldnt see the need, pacifier for parent not child, dummies make dunb children etc ect. then ds2 came along and wailed and wailed and wailed. he is still a dummy addict and is now 3 his speech is amazing incidentally, playschool say that he has the vocab of the average 6 year old.

Lifesaver - and helps your baby to self soothe which is no bad thing. DD is one now and only has it at night and is not fussed with having it in the daytime. However, if I had to get up a few times a night due to the dummy falling out I would of ditched it as I wouldn't have wanted DD to be dependent on it. If it falls out after DD has fallen asleep she doesn't wake for it.

I also sucked my thumb for many years and needed braces and didn't want DD to do the same.

MBS, I agree they are not particularly attractive. But my perception of dummy usage is this: If you know of something that might soothe your distressed or screaming baby, why would you not try it?

Why would you let your opinion of how something looks get in the way of soothing your child? (And maybe saving your sanity?)

Have just ditched the dummy for DS at 7.5mo... tbh I am really not keen on them (not how they look, but more that imo it's introducing a 'need' that the baby wouldn't have if you'd never given them it, iyswim). Was determined he wouldn't have one but crumbled when faced with colic at 3 weeks, when it was definitely a lifesaver.

Since then I have battled with DH over it as he would have happily given DS one all day and night, but I managed to keep it to just naps and bedtime, then gradually cut back as it wasn't helping his sleep. In the end he just didn't need it to get off to sleep, and no crying was involved, for which I'm glad.

The flipside is that if he gets upset while we're out in the pram, I have to sing and dance to cheer him up, so it depends which you find more embarrasing -- a baby sucking a dummy in its buggy, or having to sing a medley of "Five Little Ducks" and "Ten Green Bottles" all the way round the shops...

They're not the most aesthetically-pleasing objects, but their function isn't as an ornament.
ds has one, and he's gonna go cold turkey soon - no special reason, i just think it's time,as he was 1 yesterday and it's as good a point as any.
we call his dummy his "chav plug", or, if we want to be really classy, his "plug du chav"
but, i'm in the lifesaver camp - very firmly.

Very very interesting to note that majority of response is for dummies as lifesavers.
For some reason, I expected to hear a chorus of 'no' and 'evil'. Don't know why!
Encouraging too to hear that getting rid of them isn't as hard as we all fear.

Lifesaver!

It's a lifesaver for calming DS down when he works himself into a frenzy, and for helping him sleep when he's overtired.

If it works and he's happy, then I'm happy and sane. I only use it on those occasions though, not as a matter of course all the time which you do see some parents do.

Decided not to worry too much about dummies after I had to tell a junior colleague off for sucking her thumb in a meeting (apparently she did not know she was doing it and was feeling insecure but OMG!!!!). You never see a 21 year old consultant with a dummy but some habits are even harder to break once you have them

DS is now 18 months and seems to be losing interest in his, though if his teeth are hurting he asks for it, I suppose because he can chew on the soft bit and help his poorly gums. Anything that gets him through the night without waking is my entirely selfish view...