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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

helo 2 yr old dd hates her daddy suddenly

11 replies

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 07:56

he has done nothing wrong to her, except maybe that hes not me

she spends the whole time he is there stuck like glue to me, screams if he pickes her up "no daddy, no, down, down, down please" wont let5 him bath her or put her to bed

this is really upsetting him and me, also i am knackered from her being velcro child and its beginning to cause arguments between us

we have tried having lots of cuddles together which she will tolerate as long as she is touching me more than him. we have also tried being tough and me just walking out into the garden or somthing but she just creams and screams and screams - takes her up to 15 minutes to calm down

why is she being like this?

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Original poster

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 07:57

we have also tried doing these things like bathing her together, she will tolerate him in the roomas long as i am there but will not let him do anything

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3sEnough · 16/10/2007 08:06

I would honestly try cold turkey - a morning out with daddy only. It's probably because she knows you;re around - they do this though so don't worry - with my ds and dd1 it was the other way around and it gets really hurtful. It doesn't last! x

Original poster

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 08:09

thankyou - that makes me feel better, dh did suggest that i am making it worse.

i keep telling him its a phase but it has been going on for about a month now - hopefully not much longer.

Maybe some tough love will break the habit

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colditz · 16/10/2007 08:09

She's just flexing her muscles. Agree - go cold turkey. He's her dad, not a random monster. Leave them to it, go out for the evening!

Original poster

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 08:11

i did wonder if it was because it is aleways me that leaves her places like day nursery nany's - even though she is quite happy at these places most of the time, i thought maybe she doesnt trust me and so feels she has to hang onto me, although that doesnt explaion why she is so horrid to dh

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Original poster

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 08:12

okay okay, i guess i'll just have to go out - what a pity!

but what about when we are both there which has to happen! Do we just ignore her or what?

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silkcushion · 16/10/2007 08:14

this happened to DH with Dss (he was married to her mum then). She suddenly went off him and became hysterical if he went near her. he said it was extremly distressing. he and his xw dealt with it be forcing the issue. She would take their son out for sat morning and dh and his daughter would go swimming together. Took a bit of effort but worked in the end and now she's a daddy's girl (12 yrs old). Good luck.

wheelybug · 16/10/2007 08:19

We have this too - dd is now 2.8 and it has been going on for a few months. DUring the week DH usually goes to work before dd is up and home after she's in bed so its probably no surprise but it really does upset DH. The funny thing is, if I'm not around she's absolutely fine with DH and has a great time. This weekend they went off swimming and she was absolutely fine. If I'm out for bedtime and DH is doing bedtime (ok this has happened once in the last 6 months sadly - we have been out as a couple though in case you think I'm a real saddo) she's fine. Its just when we're both here.

Can't really offer any advice but we're just hoping it will pass. We think with dd its because it upsets her routine/ what she knows and also gets much worse when she's tired (understandably). We're going to try and make sure DH takes her out a bit more regularly so they have some time together.

Good luck !

GooseyLoosey · 16/10/2007 08:21

Ds did this to me and I should warn you that it lasted from about 18 months to nearly 3. Tbh we found that the best thing was to ignore it and if ds said that he did not want to hug me just shrug it off with a smile and say I would love to hug him whenever he wanted me to. I did also start taking him to the swings on my own. I cannot describe how heartbreaking this is, but it will eventually stop.

Dd (3)is velcro child with me at the moment and it is wearing - she follows me to the loo, shouts for me if I am out of her sight for more than about 2 minutes. I agree that it is very hard work and have no solutions, only sympathy to offer on that one. I am hoping that it is a phase she will grow out of soon!

Original poster

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 08:31

thankyou so much for all the advice ladies, glad to know its normal and i think i will suggest he takes her out and does nice things with her - everyone wins!

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Original poster

gingernutlover · 16/10/2007 19:47

okay, as is typical with dd (has to prove me wrong) she gave daddy cuddles and kisses tonight, not straight away but sahe did do it and happily so thats an improvement. WE are also all sitting down to dinner together again which we went through a ophases of not doing so maybe that has helped. It was dh's turn to go to the gym tonight so i still put her to bed, will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow, my turn to go to gym!

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