2 year old tantrums - what's normal?

[Somethingvague]

Hi,

Just wanting some perspective - what do you think comes under normal tantrums for a 2 year old? How often and what do they entail?

Having a bit of a hard time with my 28 month old. Couldn't get him in his car seat earlier while he screamed for all the street to hear, alternating between wanting to go back in the house and a minute later wanting to be back in the car but then refusing to get in... then just now refusing to have his pyjama top on but then screaming that he wanted it on (he was very tired also here though). He is too strong to be able to force him to do things, and obviously I don't really want to have to wrestle him. His tantrums are getting increasingly frequent and intense, although he's always been very strong willed. His communication and speech are usually really good.

Thanks for your thoughts.

I'd say that sounds pretty normal.

What I used to do with buckling into buggy (didn't have a car) and dd was arching her back and screaming was to wait until she had to draw breath then quickly push her stomach down and buckle the belt. As long as you can stay very calm I think a bit of wrestling is safe and sometimes unavoidable.

Screaming for whole street to hear sounds par for the course.

Dd also used to bite and kick and generally have to be restrained not to cause too much mayhem. She has grown into a perfectly pleasant adult.

Thanks, that's reassuring. I think today has just felt particularly relentless. He usually has a few big tantrums a day, and he's just so strong willed and stubborn. Plus getting big and strong physically. We occasionally have hitting and throwing things. On the plus side, when he goes to nursery he's apparently good as gold!

I have been told that my own mother told her mother "I will never be able to raise that child, I will never raise that child." About me. I am now in my late 50s, law-abiding and I think reasonably happy member of society, still on excellent terms with my mother.

My db used to have the mother of all meltdowns; once kicked his way through his brother's bedroom door with his bare feet (ouch!). Now a much-loved husband and father.

This too shall pass.

I have a 23 month old high energy, strong willed boy who has in the last month turned into a tantrum king. Same as you won’t go in the car seat having never ever had problems before, if we say no he will throw himself onto the floor and fake cry.

For me I have noticed he is so so so much worse when he’s tired. If he sleeps well tantrums are minimal, if he has a bad night then it feels like the day is one long tantrum.

This sounds a lot like my 2 year old. I worry about his tantrums (I actually posted on here asking the same question as you recently!) because they are quite intense and his emotions seem to go up and down like a yo-yo. if he gets properly distressed he gets so furious he lashes out. He is very strong-willed and constantly pushing boundaries and testing us...

However, apparently I used to throw such severe tantrums when I was a toddler that I'd get so angry I'd hold my breath until I passed out! Fingers crossed for us all...

Thanks all. It's reassuring to hear these stories of terrible tantrumers growing into well adjusted adults, and to know I'm not the only one with an insanely strong willed little one. I suppose they're the 'terrible twos' for a reason.

My 2 year old has tantrums during the night and ahead screams and I live not far from my mother and she can hear her. I try to comfort her, give her milk or water and she can still scream the place down. I have no idea why she does this but it's getting to the point when am starting to think that am a bad mother because I should know what she wants, she puts up a good fight and I need to put a stop to it. My partner sleeps in a different room because of the tantrums. If anybody can help please do.