My boy has a best friend, they are both 5 years old. I noticed that occasionally she would take him somewhere more private and ask him to show her his penis. She also has tried to kiss him in his lips, which I initially found adorable, but the way she was so secretive about it made me slightly pause and think.
During lockdown, they were FaceTiming and I happened to walk into his room and he was in the wardrobe and when I opened it I saw that she was showing him her belly and underwear area (underwear was on) but when she realised I had opened the wardrobe and saw the screen, she quickly put the phone down on its screen so that all we could see was basically a dark screen. It was awkward and I knew she must be feeling embarrassed or “busted” so I said I had to speak to my son and that we would phone her later.
I spoke to my husband about what I had seen and experienced previously, for example, her needing the toilet whenever my son needs to go and when told she would have to go in either before or after him, suddenly the need for the toilet is no longer there.
My husband asked if I had any welfare concerns. I didn’t initially but I did say to him that it was a valid point. I do not know any other child as young as this so focused on this subject.
I spoke to her mum and I said that given how secretive she is about these things, it might be a signal of someone in her daughters life potentially being like that with her, if that makes sense? I get when kids are innocently “playing doctors” but I feel there is no innocence about it, I might come across strong but it is almost like my child is stalked by a 5 year old “predator”. He just innocently follows her lead. We have a respect-based parenting in place and when I ask him about it, he answers honestly and openly. He says he likes her and wants to live with her and basically I’m buying a wedding hat and Mother of the Groom outfit already. However, should I be worried about the girl? Is this a red flag?
When I mentioned to her mum that it might be a tad early for her to explore these things and if she could think of any influences that could have resulted this behaviour she got So Super Defensive and upset with me. She said that she herself developed early so it’s genetic.