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Tantrums for 2 year old - what is normal?

2 replies

surreygirl1987 · 27/10/2020 11:33

My son has always been full-on and hard work. He cried a lot as a baby and was very whingy. He's improved hugely as he grown into being a toddler but he does throw enormous tantrums. He's done this for many months and he's just turned 2. I know tantrums are a part of normal development but I'm not sure where normal ends? He whines and cries when he doesn't get what he wants (we don't fold) and if we want to change his nappy or leave somewhere like the playground, he will throw a huge tantrum, sit on the floor, shriek, throw things, even kick or hit. This can sometimes be several times a day and is quite hard to control. He seems to struggle to calm himself down. Sometimes it seems he's doing it to annoy us and get attention / show his emotions, but sometimes he really seems to work himself up to a point where he's really distressed and can't seem to stop. Is this normal? How frequently do your 2 year olds tantrum / cry?? His language seems slightly delayed so I'm hoping when that improves so will the tantrums...

To preempt advice - It's nothing to do with screens, as he wasn't allowed ANY screen time until he was 2 years old and only then upto 20 mins a day (no change in his behaviour at all).

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Skyla2005 · 27/10/2020 12:32

Have you tried giving him a countdown when it’s time to leave or do the thing he doesn’t want Get down to his level and say in five minute we must do whatever it is then repeat after each minute. Explain what’s going to happen next so he feels involved. Also I think distraction can work at the beginning of a melt down. Oh look out there I just saw xyz out the window then Get something to play and keep his attention. Sometimes toddlers need choices so they feel they have some say in what’s happening give two choices of what he wantS and let him choose. I found the book toddler taming really helpful aswell when dealing with tantrums. Even when he does something very small that’s good give loads of praise and attention and the opposite for unwanted behaviour no attention so just little things you are telling him his really good and lots of cuddles etc

surreygirl1987 · 27/10/2020 12:55

Yes we've tried all those things thanks. I find the countdown especially useful but distractions rarely work for him. we praise him often for desirable behaviour... He's not a fan of cuddles though.

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