5yo too self conscious to join in gym class...

[noonar]

dd1 is 5.5. she asked me repeatedly to find her a gym class. i did. she's been going for 5 weeks but refuses to join in during the warm up and floor work, which lasts for 20-25 mins. while 30 other children happily prance round the room, she stands there looking anxious.

the instructors try to coax her to join in. but no, dd just stands rooted to the spot.

they then get into groups and go on the apparatus, which she enjoys.

the trouble is, the class is at 9 am on saturday morning, and its a huge effort to get there on time, as its quite a way away.

i have explained that its meant to be fun, and that we dont have to keep coming if she's not happy. i understand that she is feeling self conscious and want to support her, but am starting to feel really exasperated with her now.

should i put my foot down and say 'join in or we go home'?? i feel that i have been quite patient about it so far, and i really do feel for her, but am not sure that i am prepared to go to these lengths so that she can do half a class. its making the start of the weekend really stressful.

any advice?

oh, that's a wee shame. could you try some sort of star chart thing? or encouraging / bribing her to join in for a short, timed, spell and then building it up?

5 weeks isn't long...she is still little. Has she said why she won't join in?

does she wear a leotard, would she feel better if she could cover up a bit more, leggings?

My dd was like this, actually shes nearly 10 and theres still some things she wont join in with. But she excels at others and happily shows off her swimming skills to the rest of the class when asked to (I would personally sink under the pressure)
Is there another less intrusive time she could do a class?

she thinks the other parents are watching her. she's self conscious about it.

she says she wants a leotard, bless her. i've said she can have one when she joins in a bit more.

5 weeks may not be long, but its so frustating that everyone elses's child joins in.

trouble is. i got really mad on the way home from class today, as i had i run in with a very rude man in a shop on the way back. ended up losing my temper and saying we're not going to gym again, as saturdays are just too stressful...

so you see, have made things worse...

my dd is such a sweetie. v sensitive and a deep thinker. she says she wants to keep going. and that she knows it'll be a waste of money if she gives up. she's so thoughtful, for her age.

sadly, there is only one other class locally, which i think might be more disciplined/ full on, so would be worse for dd.

tbh, i dont really like the gym club vibe, at all, with them looking out for talent for their 'mini squad'. they make a token effort to coax dd to join in, but are clearly more focussed on the 'talented' ones.

i'd be quite happy if she gave up, actually.

bump

maybe a focus on social skills. dare i say rainbows or some such similar group - without the focus on excersize per se - with all the running around that kids do

hi custy. am not sure what rainbows is, but she has really good social skills and joins in well at school. wierdly, its the extra curricular stuff that seems to trigger this kind of reaction. we had the same exp with ballet and swimming. again, she wanted to do the ballet- not me. but i admit, i did 'suggest' the swimming.

Can you bribe her (I know this is probably against all MN advice) but my dd HATES swimming and the only way to get to put her face in the water was with a magic packet of smarties. I paid for a whole year of swimming lessons before I found this out..works a treat and she is really coming on.

Noonar, she is still little, so give her some time, try not to appear exasperated as it will only add to the pressure on her and make things worse. They all have their own plus points, give explicit praise for those.Even if you were to stop the club, do not phrase it in a way as will say"failure".You say she goes to the apparatus and does the work, which is why she is there, the warm-up is just fun and "warm-up" , thats what it is, so it's ok if she misses it because it is clearly not fun for her.
Try to see what she does at the session rather than what she does not. If you pull out, she could miss whatever little she will learn/develop by going to the club.Unless there is an alternative for that sort of activity.Do not worry about talent, this is the age to expose them to various concepts and if they want to carry on, let them, if they pull out themselves that's fine too.

This may sound too much like a sermon, but hoping this is helpful

P.S--Noonar,forgot to say I totally share your exasperation however, I have had similar when my daughter takes the longest time to warm up to new people and start talking to them. Mine is somewhat older than yours, so I have seen that with the 2nd or 3rd year in school and such exposures to extracurricular classes, she has come a long way.My cousin was like this, but my aunt took a very laidback stance and my cousin is a perfectly normal young lady now.

Is it possible that she would feel less self conscious if she had the leotard? I know they are expensive - but it might help?

noonar, where abouts are you??. My DD does a gym class at that unearthly hour on a saturday too??

I would be a bit worried personally because although the warm up is partly designed to be a fun ice breaking beginning to the session it also has a serious purpose, to warm up the muscles before going onto the apparatus.

If you explain that she needs to do the warm up to prevent her injuring herself do you think that will encourage her.

ah, thanks everyone.

we're in sussex, btw.

maddy, i know youre right, and i am trying to stay positive with her.

re leotard- many dont wear them, so i doubt thats the source of her discomfort, tbh.

will give it a few more weeks.

totally agree about warm up being important.