Second Pregnancy

[Kma25]

Hi all,

I have just found out the other day that I am pregnant for a second time.
I know everybody’s situation is different but this actually happened very fast for us and we were successful on first try. I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon and am now panicking. My daughter is 19 months old so would be roughly 27-28 months old at second birth of all goes well.

I really need to speak to somebody preferably who doesn’t know me as I don’t want to be judged, but I don’t know if I am ready for this. I absolutely adore my daughter and am really enjoying all of our memories and experiences my OH and I are building with her as a family of 3. I’m not sure if she would be ready for a new addition either.

I know I’m panicking as my OH and I did always want a second child at some point but I did imagine this would be when my daughter was 3-4 years old. Does anyone have any similar experiences. I feel so guilty to say this as it happened so easily for me but I don’t know if I am ready to give up one to one time with my daughter.

Unfortunately I still have loads of one to one time with my toddler, whilst baby gets left to his own devices or expected to just fit into what we do. Toddler was 26 months when baby was born. It's been great, he helps get things for his baby brother, wants him to come everywhere with us. I can tell they love each other very much already. Currently 2 years 9 months and 7 months. It's so wonderful to see their bond and their relationship blossoming

Same situation here (25 month gap, youngest now nearly a year).

First off, by the time baby is born, your toddler will have changed immeasurably (and again in the 6 months after that). Dc1 felt like a baby when I got positive pregnancy test (same situation as you, thought it would take ages and planned for 3 year gap!!)

Second of all, the baby really does take second place sometimes just fitting in, though it's variable day to day. I do miss my dc1 sometimes, dc2 is ebf ... but then I go on a day our with just dc1 and I savour it, far more than before.

Finally on a lighter note, dc1 became a bit of an annoying 2/3 year old, mostly unrelated to baby, just the expected stuff.. and so some days my dh and I would jokingly argue over who got to take the baby out instead of dc1

And I second the relationship between them thing. I felt especially grateful at start of lockdown in march, when families were isolated and the world was an uncertain place. I was so glad they had each other, then and going forward. And while it can be tough, really tough managing their interactions, the moments when dc1 says something sweet to dc2 when alone, or when I hear them "talking" and dc1 makes baby laugh in back of the car.. it's just lovely

@Duggerismysaviour sounds like a very similar experience to me, apart from I'd much rather have some one to one time with my baby than with my toddler!! As he's not at nursery and we had lockdown I've had plenty of one to one time. I do feel my baby gets sidelined a little, but luckily he's a lovely happy and content baby. But he does deserve some one to one time too! And yes my toddler has also become an annoying 2/3 year old. It started at a similar time to when baby was born, but I think that was mostly incidental. There was a small amount of jealousy at the start, but he's adapted very well indeed and I think he's just annoying because of his age!!

@Duggeeismysaviour can I ask you why duggee is your saviour?

Thank you both for replying😊 now the news is starting to sink in a bit, I think it will be a really nice age gap. Hopefully my daughter and her sibling will grow up with a special bond and we will be able to make special memories together as a family as they will get to a stage where they share the same interests🤞🏻☺️

@Kma25 it really is a great age gap. It's hard work having two... Mainly the nearly 3 year old, the baby is a breeze 😂. But those lovely moments seeing those two giggle with each other (and snatch stuff off each other-yes already!) are amazing. It feels lovely to be a family unit and it really feels like a family now, rather than two parents and a kid. ❤️😍