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DD Hyper-talking and mum guilt

3 replies

Heymambo · 17/10/2020 20:12

My 7 year old daughter is a hyper-talker, she can waffle on and on and on about anything at all. Some parents have commented that it's "cute" others have very honestly described the incessant chatter as overbearing.
I describe the chatter as "hyper" as she speaks so quickly and impatiently that she also has a stammer. She has seen specialists in the past who have said that it would go away in time and that I should try to pay more attention when she's talking to encourage her to slow down and take a breath. They also repeated that I need to create more calm at home. I have done my best to do so and can say that our mornings and evenings are a lot calmer than other parents describe.
It's not going away and I have tried so hard to listen more intently, but there are times where I just want to cry.
This evening I've sat with her for half an hour chatting and I can feel myself becoming more and more irritated by the incessant chatter and stammering because she can't calm down as she's talking. I want to enjoy these times with her so much, but they become draining and I find myself wanting to end conversations with her.
The chatter is accompanied by fidgeting and odd little noises, flicks of her hand etc. I have called the GP about it as I am starting to think she has ADHD. My parents are furious that I've called the GP about this and I darent tell DH. The GP is making a referral.
I feel so much guilt as a mother that I can't enjoy conversations with my little girl. I try so hard, but ultimately, I feel drained.
Is there something wrong with me for feeling this way? Shouldn't I be able to tolerate this better as her mother?

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 17/10/2020 20:40

You've done the right thing OP. Everyone finds their kids wearing for one reason or another, it's tough to be switched ON to them all day.

Ignore your family, explore every option so that you can be sure that you're doing the right thing for your DD.

And if she's super chatty-hopefully she finds a friend that she can gibber away with.

LeGrandBleu · 17/10/2020 20:48

In one of my parenting books, there was an epigraph before the first chapter that said.

" For the first two years, you will teach your child to walk and talk, and for the following ten to shut up and sit still"

Some kids are chatterboxes, some are extremely quiet.

DS2 lives in the fast lane. He didn't learn to walk, he learnt to run. Everything he does is rushed. When he comes down the stairs, the house shakes, when he opens the fridge, I can hear him from my bedroom, and he talks and talks and laughs all day long.

A primary teacher was annoyed by that. I told her about my brother in law. He is the slowest person I have ever met. He talks slowly, walks slowly, eats slowly, he never ever raises his voice, there is never a flick of excitement in him. He drives me nuts and sometimes, I have this urge to shake some life in him, but of course it would be unfair, this is who he is. In the same way you can make a slow person fast, you can't make a fast person slow. But you can teach them to control their voice, the way they speak

Did you @Heymambo ever tell her how you feel? Why is her chatting annoying you? IS it because you want to listen to something or do something else? Tell her that you need 15 min right now. What is she chatting about ?

We come in all shape and size, and not only on the outside. We have lived in Spain and Italy, and there a chatty and lively child is the norm. If you ever enter a busy restaurant in Italy, it is so loud. Everyone talks on top of each other and talk and talk. Everyone is so quiet in Australia where we live now.

Tell her you love her sparkle and enthusiasm, but that you are going to put some strategies in place to control them in some moments.
And the fidgeting, it is normal in certain persons.
My father is 82, and still never sit still. He will roll or fold a piece of paper, stand up during dinners, move on his chair, even while driving, he taps the steering wheel.

She chats with you. So many parents would envy you. See the bright side of having a chatty child. the question is " why is it annoying that much" ? Why are you feeling teary about it? If you need a bit of silence, just tell her so. Or tell her a story, so she has to listen without interrupting.

Oh and getting annoyed by our children is quite normal. I know I have 3 of them. Most things will solve themselves with time.

KylieKangaroo · 17/10/2020 21:55

I could have written your post OP, this is my daughter down to a tee, from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes to sleep it is non-stop, watching tv she is still talking, it's so so draining and I don't think people relate unless their child is like this! I never thought that this would be the part of parenting that I would struggle the most with.

I'm a very quiet person by nature so I'm hoping that when she's older this will mean we will compliment each other well ConfusedGrin

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