My 11 year old dd has a best friend. I'll call her Ella. She has a 9 year old brother (Jack) Jack has real problems with controlling his anger. He's always in trouble at school, he lashes out, he has been a bully, he struggles with schoolwork, he still has tantrums, - but only at school or at home. If he comes out with us, he's fine. A handful, but manageable. His parents and the school have tried all sorts of strategies to deal with his behaviour, but nothing seems to work. He has been assessed for various special needs, but is apparantly completely NT. Anyway, on Saturday we were at a school event and he went into meltdown aand had to be taken home. On out way home I asked my dd if she had any insight into his behaviour. Without pausing to think she said "It's all because of Ella.She's horrible to him all the time when there's nobody else there. She says she hates him all the time and that he's evil and stupid. They never make up properly when they have quarrels. I'm not surprised he's like he is"
I was amazed. This was the first time I had heard anything like this, and Jack's mother and I talk a lot. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know this either. Should I tell her? Is it useful information? And hoe do I put it? It would be possible to say that Ella was the favoured child in the family, but she does behave much better!
What would you do?