Is he ahead?

[hellbrew]

Hi all,
Looking for a bit of clarity... my little boy is 19 months and seems to be quite bright but I’m struggling to know if what he’s doing is normal without risking seeming like showing off to friends with similar aged children. Thought this forum would help me find out in a safer environment.
He’s been speaking for several months but now has well over 100 different words (probably closer to 150- although I understand his words a lot better than other people). He can count to 13 (although sometimes skips the odd numbers out but he’s spot on with the even numbers) and has started naming colours correctly, and also started to say a couple of shapes (heart and star mostly). He can also recognise some numbers, so if he sees the number 8 on its own for example he will point and say eight.
Is what he’s doing average for his age? Thanks in advance for input!

No actual experience of that age, but sounds a bit ahead of average but not exceptional iyswim?

Just carry on as you are, and make sure you also encourage all the other stuff such as motor skills, sensory etc etc etc.

Does he have the 'concept' of 'eightness' or is he just recognising the shape in the same way as he recognises a star?

He's 19MO. Why the heck does it matter? You can't really tell how academically able he will be until he's more school age and you'll presumably love him just as much either way. Is there any need to profile what he can do when there's people on here worried that their kid isn't even speaking at 19MO? They all learn things at different paces and bursts and most level out to a similar ability by age 3/4. I know people who's kids were having full on conversations at 18MO and did average at school. I know others who barely spoke til 3 and excelled. Just enjoy him

@TeenPlusTwenties

No actual experience of that age, but sounds a bit ahead of average but not exceptional iyswim?

Just carry on as you are, and make sure you also encourage all the other stuff such as motor skills, sensory etc etc etc.

Does he have the 'concept' of 'eightness' or is he just recognising the shape in the same way as he recognises a star?

That’s what I thought... slightly but not exceptional. I’ve had a few relatives comment and ask me but obviously due to social distancing I’ve not really seen other children his age to be able to answer. Yes that’s good advice- we do loads of play with motor skills although I must admit I leave a lot of the sensory and messy play to nursery!! Not really sure if he gets the concept of numbers or just recognises the shape- probably the latter. He seems to understand when there is two of something but that hasn’t really progressed to him saying that with higher numbers - I’m assuming understanding the concept is something that develops a bit later. Thanks for your feedback!

Why does it matter at his age? If he is gifted then the teachers at school will lick up on it once he starts. There is no need to do anything before then

@Jannt86

He's 19MO. Why the heck does it matter? You can't really tell how academically able he will be until he's more school age and you'll presumably love him just as much either way. Is there any need to profile what he can do when there's people on here worried that their kid isn't even speaking at 19MO? They all learn things at different paces and bursts and most level out to a similar ability by age 3/4. I know people who's kids were having full on conversations at 18MO and did average at school. I know others who barely spoke til 3 and excelled. Just enjoy him

Hi you’re right, it doesn’t “matter” to anyone else, but obviously as his mum I’m paying an interest to how he’s developing- who doesn’t? ....as I said I was hoping for a safe environment to ask the question, not to be shot down for it. The reason I’m asking is that I’ve had a few people ask me about it and I’ve no idea if what he’s doing is more than average for his age or not. I’m assuming he’s bright based on the comments but i wouldn’t have thought outstandingly so. I have no doubt it all evens out over time- but to be honest I’m not thinking that far about the future am just focusing on now. You can still enjoy playing and interacting with your children, as well as being interested in how they are developing.

Of course it's good to be interested in their development but tbh where they lack in one area they excel in another so there's no real way of knowing how their abilities will pan out at this age so it's best just to keep on going and stimulate them in as many areas as possible. Mine was iif anything slightly behind with her expressive language but could recognise most basic shapes and colours and some letters by age 2 and do a 25 piece jigsaw independently by this age as well. Her expressive language then really took off at age 2 and since then she doesn't have much interest in learning letters any more or doing jigsaws and has tapered off a bit with that but her language is really coming on and she loves any sort of imaginative play. I'd expect this fully as she starts nursery and enters an age where she's trying to negotiate friendships for the first time etc. Her only consistency has been that she's always been really good physically. Their little brains are developing so rapidly at this age that they may well have little bursts of development and seem really ahead but it'll level out is my point. For what it's worth I'd say what he can do is fairly advanced but by no means proof that he's the next einstein. In keeping with what my own dd and others that I know could do at that age. I have no idea what that really means ITO their likely ability to succeed in school or anything though but I suspect not a lot. My own dd doesn't have an amazing attention span so for her I think it'll depend on how she manages with that just enjoy him. He sounds lovely

Yes he is ahead for his age specially as he is a boy (as at this age girls tend to be ahead of boys) - on average a 19M toddler would be expected to know about 20-30 words, count to 3 with help, no shapes expected, maybe one or two colours, some animal sounds and to be able to point to some body parts.

Yes he is very ahead compared to my DS who is also 19 months although my HV always tells me to never compare with other children lol. My DS has about 10 words but is also being brought up in a bilingual household which does slow language. Also my DS has never been interested in doing activities that will help build language and communication skills as he has a very short attention span and he is more interested in being more physical. He is happier to wrestle with me than point at body parts. I was saying to DH the other day that we probably have a athlete rather than a academic child as DS is extremely strong (also really lean muscles around his body lol) and is tireless. He sets himself little physical challenges and does everything to accomplish them and is constantly on the go. I did have some concerns about his development as he wasn't pointing but the pointing came along at 16 months and we have never had any problems with him sharing interest etc. Enjoy your son, I bet it must feel amazing to see your little one doing these amazing things.

I would say he’s definitely ahead . My 19 month old can do none of that and I also think he’s a pretty bright child who learns quickly and very social .

I don’t think it really matters in long term. My now 6 year old was really ahead at that age too compared to peers but now in year 1 is a normal bright child, not exceptionally genius or anything. So I think it all balances out.

Try to focus on more physical and sensory stuff which is the foundation for all learning as they grow.

I don’t have experience of this age (yet!), but these “ages and stages” questionnaires should give you a bit of an idea:

steeplechasepedi.com/patient-corner/forms/ages-stages-questionnaires/

For what it’s worth, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you reflecting on this. You’ve been clear that you don’t brag about it to people, and it may help you make sure DS doesn’t feel bored/frustrated. He sounds a lovely and curious little boy.

Wow well this post has made me very concerned about my nearly 19 month old DS! He’s already under paediatrician care for what was a development delay of his gross motor skills but has now extended to other areas of development. He is walking now however can’t say any words at all other than mama and dada, which he doesn’t even attribute to us. He doesn’t even use gestures to communicate. So yes I would say your DS is “ahead” as you put it, but I do agree with PP that this doesn’t have any bearing on academically ability. Enjoy him for who he is rather than what he can and can’t do.

Part of it is they will learn what you teach them.
So dd1 used to count to 13 from when she was really tiny because I counted the (13) stairs every time I went up and down them (I was terrified about tripping with her, so it started when she was a baby to make sure I didn't miss them). To her she was saying the words she said on the stairs. It didn't have any difference to if I'd said "we go up the stairs" each time.
She was just reciting, in the same way another child might say "baa baa black sheep".
In the same way dd2 "said" her alphabet very young-because dd1 was singing it a lot at the time. It sounded impressive... until she asked what "el-em-oh-pea" meant. It was just a load of sounds to her.

Equally well she had an incredible vocabulary for a toddler. At 20 months my dm asked her to fetch a towel. After a couple of minutes she called up and asked if she was okay. "Actually am okay. Am choosing in moment" was the response.
I had a friend whose dc was the same age who was referred to speech therapy for having no words beyond mama, dada at that age. At 4yo you wouldn't have been able to tell who had spoken early or not, and the friend's dc is now academically at least as good as dd, and considerably better at English!

Just enjoy him and do things he enjoys, but don't get hung up on whether he's doing better or not. Because if you start looking into is he doing better, you'll probably find some aspects he's also doing worse, and then you'll start to worry.

I've only had girls, I would say about average for his age based on their development. I dont know about the speed boys develop.

As others have said small children's development very much depends on the amount of input and drive from parents to teach them. Our girls were very good readers by 4 however thats purely because that was a major focus for us (we wanted to get them into a highly competitive prep). Its all about tbe time you put in.

DS1 was similar at his age. I remember he told my friend "they're daddy's keys" when she picked them up in error.
He's now 17 and very bright doing - A levels but not exceptional and no brighter than DS2 a couple of years younger who didn't advance as quickly.

Sounds similar to my daughter (18m) though she doesn’t have as many words.

From NCT friends, I’d say he’s ahead, esp being a boy but as people say, it all tends to average out in the end and every child is different

I have found it makes life easier just being able to communicate with my daughter better so I’m mainly grateful for that!

Sounds very similar to my ds2 except that he was talking in full complete sentences on the day he first walked when he was 19 months old!.. he shouted to my sister to look at what he was able to do😀.. now age 8, he is bright but definitely not exceptional.