Really struggling with my 3 year old

[mirandatempest]

I'm not sure what I want to say here, exactly, but I think I'm struggling with my 3 year olds transition from a peaceful, easy going baby and toddler to her child self.

She seems to be never content and always nagging and whining. It feels absolutely relentless. She's not naughty really, and she's only 3 but I feel ground down. She's unreasonable about the usual things - won't wear a coat, wants cake for breakfast etc and complains all the time. This is just with me of course - fine with nursery, DGPs etc.

I'm worried that it me that's the problem - working FT, stressed about the pandemic. Could she be responding to my stress?

When I'm not working I want to be with her and she is very clingy to me but it means I don't have any down time at all - I'm either working or doing childcare. She gets up about 7.30-8 and to sleep at 9 so no evening really.

My DH is fairly good but she vastly prefers me at all times and I don't want to let her down.

She's eating well, sleeping, no problems at nursery. She's great. But I'm not enjoying her and I'm wishing away this stage.

How can I be better? I don't want to dislike my life.

Whining is very typical of her age. I have to admit I did find the age of 3 hardest with both of mine for this very reason- I coped better with full-on 2yo tantrums or teen eye-rolls. The only thing I can tell you is, it gets better.

As you yourself recognise, it is about a transition stage, and it's probably quite confusing for them.

Just hang in there, this too shall pass!

Ah thanks for responding

I suppose the fear is that this is her true personality and we have a lifetime of moaning ahead of us.

Or that living through this awful time is taking a toll on her and on her relationship with me.

I remember thinking exactly the same: this is the first time they actually seem to show some personality of their own- is this who they are?

Not as it so happened. Dd and ds are now 23 and 20 respectively and remarkably cheerful and resilient people. Ds is the stoic type who never complains about anything and likes to keep his troubles close to his chest, dd shares openly but is full to the brim of gallows humour. The age of 3 was not a reliable predictor.

(Dd does have mental health problems- in case you come across other threads of mine, but that was not what being 3 was about. That was just her being 3)

Three is the hardest age (well so far, my oldest DC is nearly 5!). Hang in there, it's not you. Just channel your inner zen and saintly patience, and it'll pass.

You've all made me feel much better. I was definitely lulled into a false sense of security as she was a very peaceful and easy going baby and toddler.