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Bedtime routine meltdowns 19mo

3 replies

CorpusCallosum · 28/09/2020 19:53

Hi wise people of Mumsnet

DD is 19 months. Since she was about 3 weeks we've had a bedtime routine and it's always been dinner (once on solids) > bath > pjs > milk > bed. She sleeps like a dream 🙌

Just the last few weeks she's started to get 'difficult' during dinner. Climbing out of her chair, hoarding all the condiments on the table around her plate, throwing food etc etc. we set boundaries (saying calmly, 'we sit down to eat', 'you're not sitting down', 'mummy is going to help you sit down' etc) and we let her get down and play if she is done eating.

But now when we start to set boundaries she just melts down straightaway and doesn't stop until she gets milk right before bed 😭 I think we've inadvertently reinforced the behavior by giving her milk while she's still upset but it's bedtime, she's tired and her capacity to calm down without it is zilch.

I just don't know where to go from here. It's not like she doesn't know she'll get milk - there has always been milk after bath. But now it's like she thinks she won't get it unless she cries hard 🙁

She has a speech delay and we're on the path to get help for that. It 100% doesn't help with this as I don't know if she understands me when I say 'yes you will have milk after bath'.

I don't know how some people get their point across in short posts, I've never managed it, thank you for reading and hopefully helping! ☺️

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AladdinMum · 28/09/2020 21:59

I think she should somewhat understand when you say "yes you will have milk after bath" as a speech delay should not affect her perceptive language, however, the word "after" could be difficult to understand at 19M, they don't tend to think that far ahead from what is happening now.

NewMum0305 · 30/09/2020 15:26

My mum taught my daughter (18m) the word “soon” which has helped enormously in terms of her understanding that something is coming but just not quite yet - now rather than trying “Your dinner is coming, mummy is just heating it up” which she throws a tantrum, I just say “soon” and she understands much quicker. Worth a try? x

CorpusCallosum · 30/09/2020 21:14

How did she do the teaching? I've tried, it's a word we use a lot, but the concept doesn't seem to sink in 🤦‍♀️

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