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Can I do anything to help my 7-year-old ‘fidget’?

7 replies

CautiousOptimist · 27/09/2020 20:00

My awesome DS has been a ‘fidget’ since he was tiny.

This might be long but I’m sticking everything down in case something rings a bell with someone.

He has what we call ‘fidgety feet’. They are always poking his brother as they sit on the sofa, standing on a toy or box, fiddling with a dropped crisp packet or plate under the table...

He’s an extremely messy eater. He CAN use a knife and fork but still uses his fingers as much as possible for choice. We have to nag and remind him constantly. He eats a cake for example in the messiest way possible - by pulling bits off with his fingers so crumbs go all over the floor. Not all over the table, because he’s never leaning over, always lolling off his seat.

He finds it impossible really to sit down for a meal, he’s forever slumping or slipping off his seat, jumping up and dancing around. We nag him (again), but it never improves.

He’s pretty uncoordinated. Finds swimming tough, has messy writing (he’s a lefty too). He can ride a bike though, and plays the drums a little.

He chews stuff a lot. Lego pieces. Blu tak. The collar of his t-shirt’s.

He’s never still. Dances about, stands on stuff on the floor, swings on doors, runs his hands along grimy walls, pulls at leaves on bushes as we walk along, shreds packaging and bits of paper, picks his nose (I have managed to limit that one!)

None of this seems to affect him academically. I haven’t had any complaints, he manages to sit still when necessary. He’s a bookworm, and a decent all-rounder.

He sleeps OK, not brilliantly. He’s an early riser (5:30ish) and always has been.

I keep expecting him to grow out of all this, but he’s just... not.

Does it sound familiar to anyone? Could he have dyspraxia? Or just a lot of nervous energy which he’ll learn to manage? If it could be dyspraxia, is there anything I can do to help him?

Is it best just to leave him to it? We’re all quirky after all, and I doubt he’ll be on a date in his 20s eating with his fingers and chewing his collar.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

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SeaToSki · 27/09/2020 20:33

Does he ever drink coke? It sounds weird, but if he has a bottle of coke and 30 mins later is less fidgity, it might be worth getting him assessed for ADHD. It is probably worth getting the advice of a Educational Psychologist and or an Occupational Therapist anyway as stuff that is annoying but just about age appropriate at 7yrs old will be making him miserable by the time he is 10\11 as his friends might start to get annoyed by it and it is also likely to start to impact on his school day. If he does have dyspraxia/ADHD etc then the earlier you catch it the easier it is to help him work to his strengths and not have his confidence knocked.

CautiousOptimist · 27/09/2020 20:50

Thanks for replying SeaToSki.
No he never drinks coke, very rarely has fizzy drinks at all.
I’ll consider taking him to see an educational psychologist, thanks for the advice.

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SeaToSki · 27/09/2020 23:03

If you find someone to do an assessment, make sure its “global”. So includes IQ, EF, Gross Motor and Fine Motor assessments. Its also worth doing a hearing and eyesight test while you are at it (with the relevant specialists)as then you will have run down the full list of possible contributing factors. (Speaking as someone who has done this with 2 dc already). And dont be fooled by someone saying that they do a screening test .....absolutely useless cop out tests. Just push for a proper diagnostic test. If you want I can give you more details.

Namechangedagain2 · 03/10/2020 13:05

Sounds very similar to my 7yo ds. I'm at the point now that I'm considering speaking to someone about it, but not sure who? Should I go to the gp in the first instance?

Bettyboop82 · 05/10/2020 20:51

It sounds like he’s very ‘sensory seeking’ and so may have a sensory processing disorder. A sensory diet (via occupational therapy) may help. He sounds exactly like my 3.5 year old daughter who drives me absolutely batty!!

Hotwaterbottlelove · 06/10/2020 09:42

Sounds as though he is keen on sensory input. Could you have a think about ways to satisfy this need rather than ways to stop it? Also consider which behaviours you want him to change because it is an irritation to you vs because it is negative for him. Could you get various mats for his feet for under the table? A bobble bath mat, a spike silicon mat, a crinkle one? For the chewing try thoes chewable bracelets and necklaces. Make a collection of the objects/materials that he likes to feel and make sure they are accessible to him. Satiate his need, don't starve it.

CautiousOptimist · 06/10/2020 09:59

That’s really helpful, thank you.
Yes I had been thinking along those lines, I just wasn’t sure what I could do to help him, or where to start.
How could I go about seeing an occupational therapist or educational psychologist? Would I start at the GP or do I need to go private?
I really do want to help him, not stop him!

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