Daycare feedback - advice needed

[HayzCo]

My little one (11 months) started day care this week. He did a couple of mornings earlier in the week but today was his first full day. When I picked him up, his key worker told me he’d generally had a good day but at times was “aggressive” towards other children and had been “quite naughty” during lunch, slamming his hands in the food and throwing it. He’s not been around many other babies, given Covid situation, but I was shocked and didn’t really know how to respond.

I understand if he is hurting other children or not managing his emotions etc she needs to tell me and we should definitely discuss it and work out what to do, but it just really didn’t feel like it was coming from that place. I was especially surprised at her describing him as naughty.

Would you be upset or concerned about this? What would you say/ do this week about this? In the moment I was almost apologetic but now I’m feeling quite worried.

Ps) this was on Friday, rather than today. It’s been on my mind all weekend 😥

There's not really any such thing as a naughty 11MO. Nursery should know that. Throwing food round is completely normal at that age. I'm a bit flabbergasted that nursery have said all this tbh and I'd pay close attention to their interactions with him. They sound really intolerent of what is perfectly age appropriate behaviour. How are they managing unwanted behaviour? I have seen nursery workers literally bawling a kid out for poor behaviour and I personally wouldn't accept this from somebody being paid to look after my child I would question this deeply with them and I'd try and turn up early a few times so you can see how they're being when you're not around. Don't be afraid to change nurseries if it doesnt feel right. I did with my dd and it was the best thing I ever did for her. I would honestly resist doing any more than mirroring the behaviour you expect from him, distraction and removing him from situations if he gets too much especailly at such a young age and I'd expect nursery to be doing more or less the same. If you start punishing him in any way he'll just learn to push back and won't really fully understand it. Good luck