Please help, breastfeeding

[rosyposy653]

My 3 month old is ebf but the last few weeks she has been waking quite often in the night and looks like she's struggling with wind despite me winding her after feeds and trying to massage her tummy and the bicycle legs occasionally. She will do an initial sleep from 7:30pm until perhaps 11:30pm but then wake every couple of hours/every 90 minutes. The frequent wake ups are making me shattered. She seems fine in the day although I'm not sure if it's related but she will sit in her bouncer for up to 10 minutes at a time and obviously in her pram but apart from that she wants to be held (although maybe that is just because she is only 3 months). This morning my husband has suggested we try formula as he thinks maybe the issue is something in my breast milk causing her to wake so much and seem uncomfortable. He said at the very least we should try combination feeding. I just don't know if the breast milk is the problem though and I feel really sad as I don't feel she or I are ready to make the transition when we've got into a rhythm with feeding now but I could do with advice please. Thanks

OP this is unfortunately completely normal at this age. They have a massive sleep regression at 3/4 months along with a growth spurt. My DD never slept for more than 45 minutes from 10 weeks to 5 months. It was absolutely hell.

We ended up co-sleeping for a couple of months which did help a bit as there was less disturbance when feeding her. We also used white noise and swaddling.

The most common issues with breast milk are allergies/intolerance to milk and soya protein. You could try cutting dairy and soya from your diet and see if that makes a difference? If she appears fine during the day then maybe it’s not that though?

Rather than combi feeding, could you express a little for your husband to give her a bottle? The only thing that saved me was my husband stepping up and helping- he’d get up and take her at 5am with a bottle so I got a couple of hours uninterrupted sleep. It wasn’t ideal (we were both exhausted) but it got us through. Could you try that?

Thanks so much for responding @TheIckabog. Was your DD breastfed? I think you are right and maybe I need to try expressing. I did it initially but then she stopped taking a bottle but I will try again and persevere for a few days.
I also think I was lulled into a false sense of security as she went through a period of sleeping better but I don't want to give up on breastfeeding if I needn't and because she and I enjoy it (although I don't want to make her clingy to me either not happy to soothe herself). Gosh this parenting lark is hard

Op as the pp have mentioned, you are approaching the 4 month regression which made me co sleep with dc for a while as I needed sleep too. I also used infacol which really helped with the wind. I'm afraid there's not much you could do at this stage. I'm still breastfeeding and now we are still stuck in the 18 month regression where he randomly wakes up after sleeping 3 hours and wants to play 😭

Btw, the 4 month sleep regression for me was when dc was waking up every 45 mins-1 hour and not settling. Grunting and whining and moving a lot. As I mentioned, I ended up bringing him to my bed where I would bf him and pat his bottom and would play some white noise from his Ewan sheep. Good news is, out of 7 days of the week, it was only let's say 4-5 days of the week he would do that. So he gave us a good nights asleep to recover for at least a couple of nights 😅 my dc was very windy and still is unfortunately and passes wind like a old man but it's a lot better.

Thanks @86jabberwocky it's really reassuring to know others have gone through it too although sorry to hear you are still going through it 😫. I've always been a bit nervous of co sleeping but maybe I should give it a try. And also go back to using Infacol (I was never sure how much it worked but perhaps I need it again). Thanks again.

My DS is 3 months and has been the same this week - I know exactly how you feel about being lulled into a false sense of security because mine was a pretty good sleeper up until now. I can’t imagine it’s to do with bf - more likely a growth spurt / developmental phase. I personally wouldn’t give up on bf if you don’t want to.

My DH sleeps on the sofa if it gets really bad so the baby and I can take over the bed without him worrying about squashing the baby. He’ll also have the baby from 5.30 am ish so I can sleep until DS2 gets up.
DS2 (now 3) was a terrible sleeper until about 5or 6 months then seemed to sort himself out.
Remember - this too shall pass! Not easy to think rationally at 3am but it will get better.

Thank you so much for the positive words @Porcupine83. I really hope it eases for you too soon. Your husband sounds like a great support.

This kind of sleep/wake cycle is totally normal for her age, and nothing to do with breastfeeding I don't think. The windiness is common in all kids, bf or not.

Have you looked at the wonder weeks app? My baby is 11 weeks but 12 by due date and I think is going through leap 3 which is not much fun for me! Might be worth putting in your baby's due date and see what it comes up with. My app had a big storm cloud over this week which appears to have arrived!

It’s unlikely it has to do with breast milk . Your husband sounds like mine though ! Your baby also sounds just like mine .

I agree with a PP that this could be a sleep regression .

My DS went through phases , some weeks sleeping better than others . Around 7 months though my DS started sleeping mostly through the night ( would wake once to nurse ) and by 10 months was completely sleeping through the night and independently napping ( aka, not napping on me ). I breastfed until he was 14 months . He’s 19 months now and a great sleeper still .

Newborns wake a lot and like to be held . I thought I was doing something wrong at the time but looking back now that’s just what newborns are like ( for a lot of parents at least ).

Keep going, sometimes it’s hard, you’ll get through it and it’s so worth it. I think your husband needs feeding re-assurance, I had a breastfeeding advisor come to our house and she explained things to him better. Also put a Moses basket next to bed for easy night feeds. Breast milk is never the problem, it’s always the solution. Food, medicine and comfort all in one!