10 year old having violent outburst

[Emz2019]

My son is 10, for a while now he’s been having violet outbursts at first I just thought he was losing his temper as kids do but tonight Iv seen it differently after his younger brother annoyed him slightly he head butted him bursting his nose! I quickly intervened and pulled him back so I could get to
My 5 year old and my 10 year old said get your f*king hangs of me you b**ard!!!! He ran up to his room and was smashing his room and his toys up!! My other child who is 7 was terrified and ran out of the house to the neighbours however he is quite dramatic and it wasn’t that bad but he did say he was very scared that he was going to get hurt the way my 5 year old just had and I was trying to see to my 5 year old who had blood all over and my 10 year old is smashing things up and I was on my own and couldn’t quite contain the whole thing at once so I guess it was quite scary not sure what my neighbour must have thought but I don’t know what I can do about him? Iv took things off him for being nasty and naughty he’s just had his birthday so got a lot of new things over the weekend and he’s had a great weekend and then he’s smashed all of his things I just feel like giving up and don’t know where to turn

I am genuinely not sure if this is real or someone trolling, but I don't want to not reply just in case.

The first thing you have to address is if the behaviour is because of an illness adhd/autism etc, or if it is because of his life experiences. The fact that you say a 10 year old butted a 5 year old and busted his nose, but it wasn't that bad is quite alarming.

If that kind of behaviour isn't serious to you, then your children will have leaned that from you. Equally you or someone he spends time with swears a lot, this will have normalized swear words and he will use them especially in times of anger/frustration.

If there isn't a medical reason for his behaviour, then I would make sure there isn't any abuse he is hiding, otherwise he has learnt the it by being exposed to it.

You need to remove everything in his life that contains the violence he is being exposed to, including games, dvd's, friends, relatives etc and the same goes for swearing. Any time he is violent make sure he loses his favourite items for a considerable time and every time he plays nicely with his brothers, tell him he has been great and get him a little something.

However whilst that will be a start I really think you should get some help, we foster and see a lot but that is some of the worst behaviour I have heard of.

The more I think about it, the more it I think it may come from pure frustration, or even be a call for help. Is there any other adult that has access to your son 1 to 1?