4 year old biting and hitting :(

[itsnotallrainbows]

Following on from my previous mum guilt post I was wondering if anyone had any advice because I definitely need it. My 4 year old ds is such a good child and so polite with his manners and such a loving boy but when he doesn't get his own way or we tell him off he has such anger and will try to pinch bite and slap. We give him a warning that if he carries on he will be in time out and his face is full of rage and he screams as loud as he can shaking with force! and continues to bite etc so we put him in time out and he starts off laughing and running off so we put him back (super nanny style) but then he sits there and shouts sorry over and over. I just don't know what to do with him when he is like this otherwise he is a loving child.

Anyone?

If your child is biting and hitting, put them in time out immediately. Giving a warning after he does it only teaches him that he can do it without risk of punishment, because he doesn't need to stop until after the warnings.

He has so little fear of any punishment currently, he is pushing the boundaries even in time out. He is working out how to get out of time out by trying moving, being loud and even being loud whilst saying sorry.

You need to put him in time out the first time he does anything worthy of it and consistently do this every time, so he learns he will always be punished for bad behaviour. He also needs to know that he gets x minutes in timeout and if he moves or talks that resets the clock and you start again. A visual guide is excellent if you have one, such as a stop clock he can see but not touch.

Whilst that will help with his behaviour, it isn't the reason for it which you will still need to address. There isn't enough information to know what the trigger is, but it is important to find it and praise his behaviour when he does the right thing in future.