4 yo awful since starting school.

[WaffleDogg20]

I’m at breaking point with my dd who turned 4 in July. She started school a few weeks ago and literally the day after she has turned into this awful child. Screaming, hitting, throwing things and being rude. She says she is good at school Because she doesn’t want to be on the cloud.

It doesn’t help that there is a park right next to the school so every morning and after school we have temper tantrums about wanting to go, and when we do go about going home! It’s so embarrassing.

We’ve not been able to do anything as a family because she’s so explosive atm 🙃🙈😩

Sounds very hard work! I expect she is actually really tired so perhaps focus on sleep right now and also some quiet, cuddly time if she's the sort of child to appreciate that. If mine ever played up about going to/ leaving the park, I found it helpful to spell out exactly what will happen, i.e. "we will go to the park for 15 minutes after school today. I will tell you when there are 5 minutes left", or before you get there "we won't go to the park today but will another day". Then of course, you have to do exactly what you say. It's such a big deal for them starting school, especially if they are one of the little ones like yours.

It sounds like the 'coke bottle effect' She's trying so hard to behave at school then she's exploding when she's finally back to her family who she feels safe to be a pain in the arse around. Do you give her a bit of chill out time on leaving school? Perhaps some time for a snuggle and a book or tv? The park issue I think could be solved with a bit of negotiating. Talk to her when she's relaxed and say that you don't like how she moans about the park. Explain that at the times she sees the park it's not possible to take her as it is school time/home time but agree that if she goes the whole week without complaining about it you will take her somewhere special at the weekend and then follow through on that agreement. It's a tough time for kids atm. Don't be too hard on her or yourself xx

My son has also just started school and is just the same (right down to the park next door) He is angry, grumpy, tired (awful sleeper, always has been) and missing his old nursery and friends terribly. It’s so tough for him and me. I’m trying to Jeep weekends and after school quiet and give him lots of attention, but it’s tough when he just shouts at me and lashes out.