Stress levels with nearly 12 month old. How do I beat the stress?

[jogym]

My nearly 1 year old DD has started to really stress me out. It's just her behaviour can be so difficult at times. Last night she cried and cried for about 15 mins before dinner (stressed). As soon as I sat down to feed her she wouldn't eat from her spoon. I'm afraid I lost the plot a bit and shouted `why wont she eat' grabbed her and plonked her down in the middle of the room. DH took over and she started to eat! I also have a nearly 8 year old. I wasn't like this with her as she was I would say an easier baby. DD2 I love to bits but my stress levels this time round are sometimes sky high and I have been known (when they are both in bed) to have a glass of wine and a little ciggie just to chill though it is getting more regular now! Am finding at the moment i'm not enjoying her. It just seems like hard work. The only me time I have is when I go to the gym and as it's with a PT it's not entirely relaxing. Saturdays are the worst day as DH plays sport so I have my two children usually shopping with nanny and it's just not enjoyable any more. She doesn't sleep in her pram so you can imagine what it's like when sleep time comes round. I don't work 2 days a week and I just find I'm bored and wonder what shall I do. Does anyone have a good way of destressing? Or does anyone else feel the same? I feel so guilty feeling like this but I don't think I'm a v happy person at the minute and DD2 both my DD's are beautiful, beautiful children.

Jogym: my DS is a year old as well and it can be tough (and I don't have an eight year old as well). They are at the age where they are pushing the boundaries - and that starts with you, where they feel most secure!

I'm in a different situation as I work outside the home 4 days a week. When I am with DS I try and get out of the house so he can work off a bit of energy in the park or wherever. Are there play groups nearby? You might get the chance of a cup of tea while your DD amuses herself.

Also, is she starting to walk or appraching another milestone? DS goes through a big growth spurt just before these times which makes him v v ratty. Sometimes if you have a reason for their behaviour it doesn't wind you up as much.

Sounds like you're doing a great job . try and make some time for yourself if you can cos you need time off too.

Oh and can you not shop at the weekend - do it during the week or get stuff ordered online? I hate shopping in crowds with a buggy and ignore it if possible. Could you do something nice with their nan instead like go round for tea and cake? (see there's a theme here)

ignore? avoid

a little secret- i think it's ok to not enjoy them ALL the time. i've come to accept that sometimes i can't handle DS as well as i would like.

i've been up all night with him (almost 16mths) as he's teething badly, am over 38wks pregnant and not dealing with ANYTHING with consistent happiness right now!

the gym probably helps more than you think- exercise will be doing you some good. sounds like DH is helpful too. I've started to just stop what i'm doing when i can feel i'm losing my rag- especially at mealtimes- and call DH in and say 'i'm going to lose my temper, can you please 'X' for me?'

it was sooooooo much easier when he slept in his pushchair- i always make sure i have a snack, drink and toy for him now, otherwise it's miserable!

don't feel guilty. you'll often hear people say 'it's only a phase, it will pass' regarding DC's development. Try thinking to yourself 'it's only a phase, it'll pass' when you feel strssed!

My DH is marvellous. He does washings, ironing occasionally, dishes. At the weekend he said he was worried about me (I had PND after DD2 was born) but off meds after 6 months, as I wasn't myself. I don't give him enough attention or affection. I think when I go like this he thinks it's him and I suppose other things. I am just not happy and don't really laugh or smile v much TBH. I just look miserable most of the time. I ought to catch myself on. He said the other day why don't you book a spa or something and put it on the card just to get away. Bless him. Last night was in bed for 10.30 but didn't sleep v well. I don't think I have been lately. Though both DD's sleep well, though DD1 occasionally wakes me by calling my name to go to the bathroom! Has a little torch, spot light and all but wont use them. Will try and cut out wine/ciggies (only go through a bottle a week and about 3-4 ciggies a week - depends on my day/night).

A mother/toddler group would be the only thing I can think of. I will see if there are any in my area. As far as shopping on Saturdays go. We go out with nanny then and this is what she likes to do - trawl the shopping centres for about 3 1/2 hours. NO fun at all but if I say I'll leave it this weekend she says if you don't want to come out with us that's ok then!

I shall try to be a bit happier. It's all good. Sometimes I just think I'm not cut out for this.

Thank u's.