18 month old hitting
V2Hod · 12/09/2020 19:21
My 18 month old son has started hitting me and only me, constantly.
I don't know if its frustration as his speach isn't great (only says about 5 words) but I'm at my wits end. We can be sitting playing and suddenly out of nowhere he shouts no and slaps me.
I have tried the naughty step but he seems to think it's a fun game. 45 minutes today and the longest he sat was about 20s as the minute my back was turned he stood up and giggled.
Any advice on what to do to stop hitting or discipline other than the naught spot? I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I really need this to stop before the baby is here as I'm scared he will start hitting more because he doesn't have all my attention.
1978vintage · 15/09/2020 22:27
We had this problem.
I'm not sure it would help but I was given advice by a primary teacher sibling to push the hand away gently and repeat a key consistent word while mimicking what you want instead. So, pull away and then lean back in saying "gentle, gentle, gentle" very clearly, stroking their arm or wherever they hit. Our biggest problem was DC hitting dad on the face, ear, nose etc quite hard!! Within a couple of days it turned into a beard stroke. That was about the 15 month mark.
I was told to try praising a sibling too, even if non verbal as too young. I.e. "oh look how gentle Emily is being with her teddy. Being gentle is good. Well done for stroking gently, Emily is so gentle" to the point it makes you bored!! Or if no sibling, mimicking using the teddy - " oh look, teddy likes his cheek stroked gently. Teddy is so lovely. I stroke his face gently. Gently. Would you like to stroke teddy gently too?" Or whatever.
Also helps with pets being handled too roughly (although obviously the first stage is keep them apart, ofc).
But remember to be consistent & get other carers doing the same e.g. partner, grandparents.
1978vintage · 15/09/2020 22:29
Good luck with the naughty step, I have never heard of that working so young as it relies on them understanding... 18 months is just too young.. show and demo the "right" behaviour this young, not punish bad behaviour...
Jannt86 · 16/09/2020 11:51
Remember at this age they mirror what their caregivers do. I'm not saying for one second you hit him but just that you should mirror the behaviour you want. If you don't want a certain behaviour then show him the exact opposite. Take his hand gently and tell him we dont hit and that make a big deal of how much he hurt you even if he didn't. I have tried to use this as much as pos with my now 2.5 year old and she's on the whole an absolute sweetheart. If i act like she's hurt me she'll come and say sorry and give me a big cuddle. She's so full of empathy. The other day I had a bit of a wobble coz I'd hardly slept the night before and cried a bit in front of her. She asked if I was ok and I said 'yes I'm just really tired' and off she trotted and got me a pillow which made me cry even more because it was so stinking adorable I think it's that kindof genuine empathy you should be aiming to instill in a child and you get that mostly through giving that to them. It's not inherent it has to be demonstrated and given to them first. I agree 18MO is way too young for naughty step. We are just using it a bit now with mine if she does something utterly unacceptable but we rarely need it. Be kind to yourself and be kind to your baby. It's a tough age but it does get better xx
Jannt86 · 16/09/2020 11:52
PS woops not sure how that bottle of gin got there in my last comment! Probably sums up how i was feeling that day though
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