18 month old language problems

[RedC83]

Hi, I am hoping someone might have a shared experience or some advice. My little girl is 18 months and in terms of development (gross/fine skills) Ive had no concerns. She is speech delayed but she points, waves bye bye, babbles, makes eye contact, can make a few animal sounds etc.
However, when I ask her to say something, or to point to something (like her mouth) she gets really annoyed about it and if I persist it can turn into a tantrum. Last week she wanted her dummy and in a rare moment of stubbornness I ignored her pointing to it and screaming and i kept saying 'say please mummy!'. After about 10 minutes she eventually broke down crying and said 'muh muh muh muh' (the closest i get to mama).
She does not follow simple commands at all unless she iscaught completely off guard (like she's having lots of fun and I say give me a high five! Now give daddy high five! then she will do it. Or she might clap when prompted or pass a ball if it's in a game).
I am worried something is wrong with her hearing or her understanding but it's an absolute no to get a hearing test right now due to covid.
Does anyone have any tips for what could either be a very strong willed and stubborn child, or a child with a language delay.

Thank you,
Rhian

Hi Rhian,

We have had a similar experience with our 21 month old son, he understands us but struggles to communicate. If we ask him to go and get something, he understands perfectly.

The three things that come back when you do research on it is, they are simply behind and they suddenly catch up on speech, autism or hearing. Unfortunately you can only get tests once they turn 2, to find out which it is.

We have made a big effort with nursery rhymes and he seems to have learnt a word from most or them (row row, e i e i, oink oink). I am hoping our little one is just talking late.

I have a similar character who's now 29MO. On the surface she often seems not to be interested in what I'm saying/singing and sometimes gets grumpy at me when I sing to her etc. From 9MO she'd frown at me and cover my mouth if she didn't want me to sing and still does it now but says 'stop' as well She is also very awkward at answering questions etc and doing things on demand so I try and limit it and just catch her out. (Eg I was sure she knew her colours well before she was 2 but she refused to engage if I tried to test her with it. Eventually I managed to catch her out by playing with her ballpit balls and just saying 'can you pass me that green ball over there' etc but she'll still occasionally refuse to answer what colour something is or answer the wrong colour when I know she knows it really haha) I think some kids are just independent minded and not show ponies. Try and engage him with a game or some household chores instead. It might be trickier but it should still be possible to assess their understanding like this and with mine it was still pretty obvious from before she was even 1 that her understanding was brilliant. The other thing I'd say is just keep talking talking talking to her. It can be hard when they don't seem engaged I know but from experience they're still very much taking it in. Mine seems to not be paying the blindest bit of attention to me whenever I read or sing to her but she is coming out with whole verses of the songs I have sung her and finishes off lots of the sentences in her favourite books now. Instead of testing her I'd work more on the core skills of speech such as back and forth interactions and imitation games etc. A website called www.teachmetotalk.com has some really good tips for helping with speech. Your daughter sounds fine though. Just enjoy her and don't get too frustrated xx

PS you should be able to self refer for a hearing test at any age. I did when mine was 11MO and not really babbling. It's definitely something you need to exclude ASAP

I think 18 months is still quite young - I wouldn’t be too worried at this stage. There is a large range of what is considered normal.

If it was me I would focus on making the environment fun and light, no pressure for her. Loads of narrating of what you are doing, all day everyday. Just focus on you talking to her all the time, singing, endless books etc rather than the emphasis being on trying to get words out of her. Then mention it at the 2 year review if still an issue.

I have a nearly 18 month old but I was so worried about the no pointing (sleepless nights for months) and yesterday he pointed at a helicopter in the sky and has been pointing a lot. Again, the language isn't very good. He only says meow when he sees a cat, boo boo when he wants to be bf and mumm mumm when he wants me and when he is hungry, he says yummy. I've read loads of threads on here that one day day they just click and the speech just unravels. Dc is trying lots of different sounds and tries to copy me but still no clear words apart from meow and yummy. I do agree with a pp saying 18 months is still young and once past 24 months, I will seek help for my dc. In the meantime, I do try to encourage 30 mins of play a day with no interruption and I just follow his lead not asking questions but basically being a commentator.

My son is 18 months and is exactly the same. He says mummy and doggies and that's it. If I ask him to do something he totally ignores me. It's so hard not to compare to other kids but I suppose they all develop at different rates. I mentioned it to my health visitor and was told not to worry and it will eventually click and I won't be able to shut him up.

Thank you! I’ve been told no hearing tests right now due to covid. Both private and NHS.

Thank you so much x

OP we just had a hearing test via NHS for our little one last week - had to wait two months cos there's a big waiting list.

Hi @RedC83, just came to hand hold and say you're not alone. Your post has helped me feel not alone right now.

I had the 'not to worry' talk from the HV today for my 19mo who doesn't talk. She sounds similar to yours, babble and pointing but literally no intelligible words, not even animal sounds.

She's always had poor eye contact and people just told me 'she likes to look at the world' but when everything says they should be interested in your face it's really hard not to feel there's something wrong. Wish I could see past it to enjoy her toddlerhood a little more ❤️

Some kids are late talkers, delays with speech or speech & language (understanding), some kids have various speech disorders that need speech therapy, some kids have autism and some kids have other disorders.

My ds pointed at 2.5, had his first unclear words at 3 - took until about 4.5 to be understood and his language was equally delayed. I remember how worried I was but the best thing i did was look at the teachmetotalk website and get speech therapy for him.

Children develop at different rates and between us in the family we’ve seen the whole range. We’ve had worryingly late sitters, late walkers early potty trainers, early readers and currently a late talker who is almost two and only has one word we all understand.
He’s definitely not deaf, can hear a crisp packet rustle at a mile away and understands everything that’s said to him. He babbles constantly and uses actions for a lot for words like birds, butterflies, wheels etc. If asked to go and get things like his coat or shoes or a book he will but at the moment he turns a deaf ear to any request to say the words for us.
In general he’s a happy little boy who loves company, stories, and running round the garden. He sleeps well and eats well and the expectation is that one day in the not too distant future his speech will just take off. We all do our best to encourage him to say words but at the moment he has no real need to communicate verbally as he can make himself understood in other ways.

@CorpusCallosum. I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling this way and I can absolutely relate. Coincidentally, I also had the 'not to worry' chat from my HV yesterday too, and actually my little girl's eye contact is not brilliant - but it is there.
The world is coloured with variety and that's a great thing, but you can't help but worry for them, even if deep down you know that come what may it will all be okay. It sounds to me like your little girl is doing just fine and that she'll get there in her own time. Easier to say it than to hear it, I know.

@millymae your little boy sounds brilliant. It's great that he follows instructions and that he's so interactive. My HV told me (which echoes what some of the posts here advise) to stop asking her to repeat/say things as she's wise to it now and probably thinking "oh not this again". At first I thought that's ridiculous - she's just not that cognitive, but when i properly reflected, she used to resist going into her high chair or changing table because she knew what was about to happen. So i guess i need to remember that she has some say in her 'performance' too! Nice to hear that you've experienced a range of hitting milestones. I guess they are all different as you say.

@essexmum777 thank you that's really helpful and this website has been advised a few times so i will definitely use it. You're right it can be any manner of things. I hope your little one is thriving now

@Marimaur oh good to hear! I'll hang on for it

@V2Hod Ha i am sure she is right. I've heard this from lots of other friends too.