7 year old - behaviour

[PPA123]

Hi guys,

I have a 7 year old boy, who lives with me (dad) every other week during school term.

Over the last week(s) his behavior seems to have changed somewhat.

He seems very "mummified" and regularly expels the virtues of his mother saying how much better she is, how much more fun he has with her etc...

When he's with me, he never seems to have a bad time, we do a lot together, fun outdoors stuff, and play a lot together.

I am trying to have a thick skin and let his behavior wash over me, but wonder if its something I can/should do anything about.

Thanks.

Anon

Being an only child I have nothing to compare it to.

If you do a lot of things together. he could just be telling you he is bored so you take him somewhere else or play with him even more.

Also don't forget that it is a very difficult situation for a child. I presume he is at your house every other week because that is what you and your ex agreed, but he didn't. Children love consistency and break ups are the opposite of that. Of course it's just life that these things happen and isn't your fault, but him not being settled may also be due to that rather than what you perceive as your failings.

Finally regarding the "mummified" comment, he clearly loves his mum. Mum is obviously doing a great job with him for him to feel that way and you should try to see it as a good thing. There are plenty of messages on these boards from mums who are the opposite and you wouldn't want to swap.

Hi, thanks for your comments.

We've been doing this for a while now (3+ years) so he has actually seemed to have coped well, though is still upset by it i'm sure and would always want us back together.

We do a lot of active stuff together and with his mum he does a lot less. With his mum (as far as i can tell), he watches a lot of tv at hers, plays computer games as much as he wants and goes out and about occasionally.

My parenting style is stricter than, hers, i'm, not horrible, I just ask him to put his toys away occasionally, eat all his dinner etc.

He has said he prefers his mum as he doesn't have to do the things i ask of him and gets to watch tv and play games.

I don't think its possible for us to have similar rules or do similar things (and I don't want to change my parenting style), i guess he just needs to adjust to it, which is what i keep saying to him.

But it seems his behavior with his mum might be better than with me.

Thanks,

Did anyone else see my post?

Hi. I’m not in your position and was looking on here as I have a 6 year old girl who thinks she’s 16 and is pushing me to the limits. I read your posts though and you have my sympathy. No real advice I’m afraid but I wouldn’t assume he’s perfect with his Mum either or believe she doesn’t ask him to tidy up etc either. I can bond with having our buttons pushed. I guess we’ll both have to retry being the bigger person and hope it’s a phase - I don’t think it’s easy though! Good luck.

Thanks for the advice, funnily since he's back at school, things seem to have calmed down somewhat.

Good luck with your situation :)