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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

12 wk old hating baths more than ever and still crying lots.....

25 replies

Lisa229 · 06/10/2007 21:30

Wasn't too bad with baths up to about 2 wks ago, would cry before and really cry (red in the face, tears) after until changed into pjs. But now cries hysterically in the bath. we have tried with and without baby chair, hlding her hands, warmer water, leaving her in a vest in the water, warm towels when getting out - she just seems to be getting worse. Any ideas or is it something she will grow out of?

Also still unsettled in day and crying. Do you think she will be more settled when she can sit up/ do more? She was 3 wks premature so I have been told that development wise she is really 9 wks old, is this right?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Spoo · 06/10/2007 21:33

I think bathtime crying is normal, but if she is crying all the time - I would have a chat with your HV - might be colic or reflux. The crying is horrible when its your own isn't it?

beansprout · 06/10/2007 21:35

Ds hated baths when he was that little. They don't really, really need them. You could get by on wipes with baths every few days and then go back to it.

Also helped to have one of us in with him and ds sat/lay on our stomachs. He quite liked that.

Olihan · 06/10/2007 21:36

ds2 hated baths with a passion until he could sit up on his own, then suddenly loved them and cried when we took him out! I think he just hated lying back.

LoveMyGirls · 06/10/2007 21:38

My dd2 used to cry at bathtime, she was always worse for dp too (which was bad as that was the time i wanted a break and he wanted to bond after being at work all day) there's not much you can do really i don't think just let her get on with it obviously try your best to comfort her but at the end of the day it's not like you can avoid bathing her she will get used to it in the end.

Remember babies cry because they can't communicate any other way, try talking softly to her so she knows you are calm that may help, when dd2 used to really cry i used to imagine what she was trying to say so you could imagine she's saying hurry up and get me out so i can cuddle you and have my food!

I read somewhere that babies cry on average about 2hrs a day, it's just something they do. Imagine how many hours per day we spend talking, you can't imagine being silent or not talking.......try not to take it personally x

scarybee · 06/10/2007 21:38

My DS hated baths for ages. Probably until he was about 4 months or so. I used to take him in the bath with me - sit him between my legs - and he was slightly better about that.

Now he's six months, I wouldn't go so far as to say he looks forward to them but he's not screaming the place down (or even worse, looking at me with abject terror in his eyes!)

PrincessAfterLife · 06/10/2007 21:40

maybe try having baths together? that way she can hold on to you for comfort and you can splash about and make bathtime fun. If she learns to like it that way then you could gradually move back to her having baths on her own.

Hamishsmummy · 06/10/2007 21:40

My ds didn't enjoy his baths either, so I used to just give him a 'hot cloth' wash unless he was really manky. He's now 16 wks and has just started enjoying the water so don't worry too much, it'll come in time

TheArmadillo · 06/10/2007 21:45

top and tail him - don't bother with bath if she really really hates it. You can always take her in the bath with you when she is older to get her used to them.

About being unsettled in the day - is she particularly windy, perhaps colicky?

susiecutie · 06/10/2007 21:47

I would suggest bathing together. Its a lovely thing to do. a nice time for more physical contact. I LOVE bathing with my dd. she loves it too. she seems to prefer bath time with daddy though.. at least she doesnt decide to help herself to a quick feed when she thinks no-one is looking.

As for the premature age issue. yes, it is correct. Its called a corrected age. It means that prem babies are allowed to be up to how early they were to be behind in development.

i.e. my dd was nearly 6 weeks early. so my HV knocks that off her weight chart, and all her developmental milestones.. not that she needs it. She is way ahead developmentally. weight-wise and size-wise, i'm glad that she can have 6 weeks grace, or else she would be grossly underweight on the charts...

go and have a bath together and enjoy it!

Chamomile · 06/10/2007 22:02

Have you tried the bucket style baths? That did the trick for my dd. I found plonking the bucket bath in front of a mirror really helped. Actually that was ds'(6) idea. I was really proud of him for it worked.

somersetmum · 06/10/2007 22:08

Warm it up just slightly. If you're doing the elbow test thing, the temp is just a bit too cold for them, esp now we're in to autumn.

Mercy · 06/10/2007 22:09

Awwww, how cute! (not for you though!)

I'd try having a bath with her or with dh or the bucket thing mentioned. Once each time adn if she doesn't like it then forget it and just sponge her down. Try again in a couple of weeks max.

Mercy · 06/10/2007 22:11

ahem, I meant minimum, ie, leave baths off for at least a couple of weeks.

BrownSuga · 06/10/2007 22:21

MW said getting in/out bath feels like falling to LO hence the crying. have you tried a shower? also although lo is very good with baths, we give him a hair dry afterwards
(like the noise and warmness), works too when he can't sleep.

beautifuldays · 06/10/2007 22:26

you prob don't want to hear this but my dd has always hated baths, she still cries a bit when we bath her and she's 8 months old. i think some babies just really don't like baths. we just keep baths to a minimum - once or twice a week and top and tail her in between which she doesn't mind as much.

basically i'm just trying to say, try not to worry, it's nothing you're doing, some babies just don't like baths!

edam · 06/10/2007 22:29

Everyone is right saying they don't actually need baths too often. Daily bathing is held up as one of the chief causes of infant eczema, too. Another good reason not to do it!

kindersurprise · 06/10/2007 22:47

Our midwife used to hold DS under the mixer tap in the bathroom and give him a quick "shower". He screamed at that too, but at least it was really quick.

He loves the bath now and cries when we take him out!

naturopath · 06/10/2007 22:53

if she's generally unsettled it might be reflux - have you checked it out with a dr?

scarybee · 07/10/2007 09:41

When you say baby chair, do you mean a bath support thing like this?

That helped my DS with not feeling like I was holding him out at arm's length which I think was a lot of the problem for him. I used to warm it under the tap, then put him in it on the floor, then lift it into the bath so I was never suspending him which I can understand is pretty scary.

Blackduck · 07/10/2007 09:44

Washing up bowl? I used to bath ds in one when he was a babe. Its small so they feel more contained
Bath with you - did this as well (I hated it as the water was so cold!)

Original poster

Lisa229 · 07/10/2007 19:52

Thanks for your replies, will try having a bath with her. How high should the water be?

With regards crying, think it is more colic than reflux as tried infant gaviscon and reflux milk but made no difference. Just thought once we got to 12 weeks we'd see some improvement

OP posts:

annieshaf · 07/10/2007 20:04

Lisa

I would definitely try a tummy tub (bucket type bath) if you can. The fact that they are deeper in the water means that they get more support from it and feel more secure. Also check the temperature of the water it is easy to get it too cold for a newborn.

DS 2 screamed when i gave him his first bath but with hindsight i decided i had done it when he was hungry. Made sure not to do that again and he has loved his baths ever since.

Heated · 07/10/2007 20:14

Both of mine loved their baths with dh, to the point where even now if he's having a bath they want to climb in. Have the bath as deep as you need it to be comfortable since they'll be snuggled up to you or dh.

They were bathed in the morning after breakfast, so never when tired or hungry. The room was warm and so was the water - neither liked tepid baths. Also used the plastic molded bath seats so they felt secure.

If it's a battle, then just top & tail - babies don't need baths - and wait 'til they are older and can sit up/play with toys/splash.

hippyracer · 07/10/2007 20:24

Message withdrawn

TheNappyNipper · 07/10/2007 20:32

My DD hated having a bath in her baby bath and was screaming the place down. I took her in the bath with me for quickness one morning and she loved it. I had the water as deep as I would normally and just keep hold of her. She loves the fact that she can float about quite unrestricted. When I've finished with her, I wrap her up snug in a towel and put her in her bouncy chair with anohter twowel over her, then wash my hair.

It's really nice sharing the bath with her....although I'm not sure the floaty bits of baby puke are any good for my skin!!

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