Please be gentle as I’m not sure how to explain this and I think it’ll be a long one... my DD (14m) is lovely, she’s what the nursery calls an active learner (they actually said one of their most active children ever!) and so hates sitting still and loves being independent and exploring. She has been like this since she was born and was always the most vocal, active child in every class we ever did. I try to encourage this by doing things suited to her nature such as taking her to say soft-play where she can run wild so to speak. She doesn’t have a bad bone in her body but can be a rough and tumble tot and will get upset if she feels restricted. Today I took her to her first baby class in around 6/7 months and she was one of the youngest there. We had to stay on mats for SD but at the beginning the instructor said most likely some of the younger ones may wander but can adults try and stick to their mats. Fair enough. Well she actually ran wild and whilst I tried not to leave my mat I had to regularly as she would do something that would need it (i.e. play with instructors speaker/ipad or run miles off into the venue and try to get into an off limits room). She didn’t want to do any of the activities with me but wanted to mix with every other person in there. That’s just her she loves new people and loves getting a smile or attention from a new person. Other mums seemed ok but then towards the end of the session she did get upset and cried as she wanted outside (doors open for cold air but blocked so children couldn’t get out) and I wouldn’t let her... think trying to climb over several chairs blocking entrance to get out. We came home, had lunch and a 2 hour nap then went to meet a friend for a play date at soft play.
In her element at soft play, plays in bigger kids area and is happy not intimidated by other children. We then had a bottle of water and some toast so sat down in a high chair and almost immediately she wants to stand up in high chair (which she can do as she is a contortionist I think!), wants out of high chair and to explore. So after a quarter of a slice of toast and a quick gulp of water is back off to play. My friend has known us since my little one was about 8 weeks so is used to her personality and said you sit with my baby and I’ll play with yours so you can finish your cappuccino. Great - I can never finish a coffee! I sat with her child and the differences were astounding she ate her toast and babbled a little but just got on with it! I drank my coffee whilst making the odd conversation with the little girl and finished a slice of cake!
Friend came back looking knackered but happy that I had managed five minutes to finish my coffee.
Now I wouldn’t change my little one for the world, I love her personality and there’s never a dull moment but I do feel like I’m failing as a mum as every child seems to follow rules and be slightly obedient whilst mine runs wild. At the class today I was literally sweating trying to keep my little one in my general area whilst others breezed through. The instructor even came over to say don’t worry she’ll get it with time!
So my questions are, has anyone experienced this and if so what helps? Is there something major I’m doing wrong? As I say I wouldn’t change her for the world but I would like to communicate with her better so that she can get the best out of our activities too and not feel like we are battling. Also are other mums likely to judge or are they just “meh she has an active one!”