16 month old pinching , scratching and smacking me ...

[RubyShivers]

i know it is just a phase but he is seriously testing my patience
today he scratched me and he drew blood
i am the only one he does this to
if he does this at home, i move him away from me and ignore him, but that is more difficult when we are out and about
he has been doing this for a while now and i am consistent in reacting but it isn't getting better
any ideas?

hmm, won't make you feel better but he's pushing the boundaries with you because it's "safe" to do so.

And I think you are dealing with it well. A firm "no, you do NOT pinch/scratch/smack" and put down and ignore. I would be consistent when you are out even though it's obviously harder to ignore a resulting tantrum in public. In this case I would distract from the resulting tantrum as quickly as possible.

Good luck

thanks weegle
was a bit of a long day today ...

I have the same problem with my 14 month old. I am doing the same as you trying to withdraw my attention but it doesn't seem to be working. He is in general lovely and responds well to no in other areas but doesn't seem to get this - i say ow that hurts Mummy be gentle and he just thinks it's hilarious. Let me know how you get on....

used to say no to my ds and move him away and pay him no attention whenever he did it he soon learnt he got more time with me not doing it even at anyone elses housse id do it as consistency is the answer if out shopping and they are in the chair you can just dio a firm no you do not scratch

the other thing I have done with my DS who smacks, and thinks it's funny is teach him different behaviour for that situation. It's not fantastic but I have taught him to stroke! (we have a cat, that's how it originated, now looks a bit weird if he strokes other toddlers!)... anyway, I know others have had success with this method. So you say "NO, it's not nice to smack/scratch/hit, we stroke/kiss/cuddle".

Agree with Weegle but would try to catch it before he actually hurts you with a 'No - we stroke not scrtach' if he does it again - active ignoring really works. If you are out and about strap him into the buggy and keep walking and ignoring - he'll soon get the message. I have had both boys do this to me.

BTW I thought I was ignoring until my HV told me to ACTIVELY ignore. i.e. carry on your business, turn your back, walk out the room.

Good advice already I think, to firmly say no, and distract or ignore. Being consistent important. DD2 (14mo) going through a second phase of it at the moment, especially with DH, takes great delight in slapping him. DD1 also did it, tho to a lesser extent.

I like Weegle's and Spoo's suggestion to encourage stroking instead - dd likes to give us kisses, so will try to get her to kiss daddy instead of whacking him next time!

Apparently tiny ones often do this (and many bite too) to show love, as obviously they can't express it in words. Which may explain why your ds only does it to you, and why my dd always has a huge smile on her face when she does it! Doesn't make it any less irritating though .

Be reassured it is only a phase, and it won't be too long before your ds learns to express himself in a more gentle way.

I look after a 16 month old and he is a scratcher.

Unfortunately he does it mostly to babies.

In a low tone tell him 'no' and move him away. At this age it's all you can do as he has no concept of hurting other people.

It's a phase and they all grow out of it (within 20 years or so).

thanks for the advice ...
LOL at the phase lasting 20 years

i do the "be gentle" and he does it back - will stroke my face and then he smacks me!

ah well - he must really love me