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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

What exactly is 'telling tales'?

32 replies

unicorn · 17/10/2004 08:46

I genuinely am interested in thoughts/opinions on this.
Yseterday we were at a party, and dd 1 (5yrs) came in to see the adults(after playing with some of the other kids,) and told the mother of one of the boys that he had been throwing things at her.

Now another of the mothers just said, "oh stop telling tales"

It actually annoyed me, as I have always told dd to tell a teacher/adult if anyone is hurting her/bullying etc.

So my long winded question is.. What exactly is telling tales?

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stupidgirl · 17/10/2004 21:29

Personally, I don't think there is a simple answer, Unicorn. FWIW, I would have been seriously pissed off if someone had said that to one of my kids.

Original poster

unicorn · 17/10/2004 21:42

I was sg. (btw I refuse to call you thatname!)... but I just wasn't sure 'how' or what I should say to that mother, without going OTT, and changing the party atmosphere.

It was Ok for her to say that in front of everyone, and nobody challenge her, but if I had said something to argue the point, well I would have been seen to be in the wrong, IFSWIM?

I don't think I could have been objective and calm, so 'she' would have been the winner.

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WideWebWitch · 17/10/2004 21:45

Well, what your dd did wasn't telling tales, it was completely appropriate imo. Telling tales, imo, is when you tell an adult about something totally non serious that you think might get another child into trouble but when you do it entirely for your own satisfaction. Haven't read other posts, will do now.

WideWebWitch · 17/10/2004 21:48

Ah, so I agree with freckle and scummy, who both said it much more eloquently!

stupidgirl · 17/10/2004 21:50

I don't know Unicorn, I would probably have sat and seethed quietly too.

Original poster

unicorn · 17/10/2004 21:54

sg- I think I am annoyed with ME, as it was almost a case of being 'bullied' by an adult...
I mean what gave HER the right to speak out like that?

Arrogant and insensitive, but also confident that noone would challenge her...

Bully? yep I reckon she has those traits!

(No I shan't be mixing with her again!!)

OP posts:

jojo38 · 18/10/2004 00:28

telling tales IMHO is something that is said to get another into trouble...whether it be true or the exaggerated truth. It is designed to stir trouble.
In this case, your child is asking you what it is that she should do in this situation.
A child learns a lot in these precious years and from our reactions to life things they dont' come across too often.
I too was told not to hit back as a child. I tell my children to do the same. But is it right?
I was shocked to hear my lovely lovely dad tell me that he was onced bullied at school. In the end, he turned round and hit the bully in the jaw. He was never bullied again. I too was bullied at school. I picked a fight with a girl. It was the talk of the field.. everyone was there. (it was horrid). The girl and I ended up being best of friends after it. We still are 25 yrs later. My youngest is having probs. My eldest tells him to hit back... I try to "turn a deaf ear" at times, hoping that perhaps he might and it will end his torment.
I don't condone it. Nor have I encouraged it.
Kids are horrid at times.
I'm sorry that I haven't any real advice for you but someone said to me that while the children are making up, the parents are still at each others throats.

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