Bad behaviour just for mum?

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My 9 week old DC (EBF) went for a few hours to GPs today so we could get a break/they could spend time with DC.

I sent DC with plenty of expressed milk.

Usually DC doesn’t nap properly In the day, no more than 20 minutes at a time for the last week (except at night where it’s 3-4 hour stretches) and has become very whiney the last few days, I’m at home with him and the main care giver. He’s almost always got his fist in his mouth asking for food and takes it if I offer boob.

So today with GPs he didn’t whine or cry at all ALL DAY, took food then napped for 2.5 hours straight.

Happy baby when we picked him up, very alert and happy. Now home for lsss than an hour and he’s whining already! ARGH HELP ME. What am I doing wrong? Why doesn’t he like being with me?

Why doesn’t he sleep properly for me but will for others?

I feel drained and now after this I feel quite useless.

Aww please don’t feel useless! There will be a reason, they don’t do anything deliberately at this age.

Is he is fed from the boob at home vs bottle fed with breast milk at the grandparents’? If I read that right, maybe he’s not getting enough via the nipple somehow? Tongue tie, maybe? It could be anything, but I thought I’d mention it as my DD didn’t take the boob too well but guzzled breast milk from the bottle. At 4 weeks old she was diagnosed with a “difficult to spot” tongue tie and had it corrected a couple of weeks later.

The other thing it could be is slightly picking up on your tiredness and mirroring it by whining. Hopefully a day of rest has done you both some good. Hang in there, mama!

I’m starting to wonder now, maybe that’s the case. Yes he has boob from me and sometimes DP gives bottle fo expressed milk and that’s what GPs did today.

He’s like a different child after a bottle of expressed milk, it’s frustrating. I love the bonding and connection that Brest feeding is giving but I can’t ignore the difference.

I’ve just looked at images of tongue ties and he doesn’t seem to have one but by the sounds of your experience it’s not easy to spot. I will bring it up with GP next week, we have first injections/check.

Thank you for responding, I am feeling pretty deflated when I should be recharged.

From memory, they can get an anterior tongue tie or a posterior one, and one of those is harder to spot than the other. So we had MWs looking straight after birth, but it took a tongue tie consultant to spot it in the end (via GP). No harm in mentioning it next week.

Sounds like you’re doing amazingly, really, even if it doesn’t feel like it. You’re giving the little one all the care and attention of a great mum, worrying and wondering about every detail. Plus he’s been getting breast milk all this time, which is great!

I was sad when DD didn’t want the boob because of the tongue tie, definitely agree the bonding part is lovely. But you still have the eye-gazing and finger holding with a bottle, and the milk-drunk cuddles.

It’s soul-destroying when they cry and it can’t be fixed. DD started doing this at 2 months old bc of colic, just solid 2-3 hours of wailing in the afternoons no matter what we did, until she was so tired she fell asleep. I just cried with her sometimes in the end. It went away after 6-8 weeks but it was just awful. I felt like my whole body was on fire each time.

Everything does change and, as they say, the days are long but the years are short. I have a 14m old now who is experimenting with walking and feeding her toy animals. Sometimes I can’t even remember how we got here! Each phase passes.

My Ds had tongue tie. He fed much better from the boob with a nipple shield. He was prem too so for a while I fed him for 30 mins each boob then topped up with breast milk in a bottle. That way I knew he was getting enough. He def piled on the weight anyway and slept like a dream.

My 7 week old is a bit like this with boob vs bottle. He only just learnt to latch properly so I'm hoping it will improve but basically if I want him to "behave" I give him a bottle! So it's bottles before bed and bottle before we go out for lunch or something, as it just seems to be a more efficient way of getting him full of food so he can have a nice long snooze! I too much prefer boob feeding and am persevering whenever I have time and don't need him to be sleepy etc, but bottle def = more predicatable baby!

Sooo.. latch ok- no tongue tie.

That sounds so familiar @isitmethough !!
We’ve got the MAM bottles for when he has expressed breast milk and they’re meant to be slow flow but he’s still a different child after a bottle. I am tempted to exclusively pump now, it’s getting exhausting.

This week he’s continued to be whiney and crying. I really am exhausted and have spent the morning crying.

Doesn’t help that DP is getting more and more disconnected as time goes on.