Going from BLW to spoons/forks....aaarrggghhhhhh!

[PregnantGrrrl]

It's not going well. DS is eager to have dish on his tray and use cutlery himself, but he gets confused / upset, and it ends with a three-way feeding: i spoon feed him, he stuffs his hands in it, then tries using spoon himself. Then it starts over again.

He's getting really upset and confused, and meals are all stressful

He's 15mths BTW

I'm not sure where the upset and confusion comes in .. is it his inability to get food in his mouth with spoon? (but he's using his hands isn't he?), is it when you spoon feed him?

I assume you have a spoon and he has a spoon and that you leave him to it but just offer a couple of spoons (is this when he gets cross? in which case don't spoon feed at all)

sorry need more info

he wants to do it all himself, and he mostly can (odd bit of spillage) Then he gets annoyed and hands me the spoon / fork to do it, then he refuses that and sticks his hands in it instead. Then he wants to feed himself again with spoon / fork...

DD2 grabbed a cpoon one day and started using it herself she was about 16 months at the time, shes great with a spoon and fork much better than DD1 who is 3. I wouldn't bother about a using a spoon right now it will come to him just stick with him using his fingers. Sometimes DD2 gets frustrated that she can't pick something up with a spoon and resorts back to fingers.

sounds like a normal mealtime with a 15 month old, it'll pass

.. have your own spoon and your own meal (so you aren't sitting there watching him, but just eating alongside really and chitter-chatting, is the only advice I can think of)

ok, thanks.

it's stressing me out. last night there was just spag bol all over the floor, radiator, chair etc. and he was miserable

again sounds rather normal for a 15 month old

i would just leave it a bit longer. give him a spoon to play with but if he can't do it rather than you feed him just let him finger feed. i'm not going to introduce a spoon until ds is 2. i'd rather him learn to use a spoon when he will be more able to use it properly than introduce it now (15 months) and not be very successful.

DS (just turned 1)has always liked to hold a spoon in one hand while eating with the other. He now wants to use them himself - he has had more success with a fork than a spoon as he can spear things on the end of it. He sometimes holds the fork/spoon out to me and I load it up and set it down on his plate and he will pick it up and most of the time gets the food to his mouth. He has also started trying to eat yoghurt with his spoon and has done really well so far. I think you just have to persevere but help when your lo indicates they want some. I think age 2 is a bit late to start introducing cutlery - by then I'd want my lo to be proficient at using them and that requires plenty of practice (just my opinion though )

i've just found that by age 2 they have the coordination to get it right pretty much first time so it means not having to deal the frustration of them not being able to do it and the mess.

well last night i made boiled potatoes, fish fingers and brocolli and left him to it. he was much happier, and so was i! I think what we'll do is give a spoony type meal and cutlery 3 times a week for the practise, but leave him have 'finger' food the rest of the time.

imo there's no such thing as spoony type meals. all food can be finger fed anyway. if i was you i'd just give him a spoon and a fork and if he wants to try and use them let him but otherwise let him use his fingers. ime most toddlers can't use a spoon and fork til they are 2 - 2.5 anyway.

i'd consider yogurt and porridge spoony type meals myself!

Yes, I would think these things are spoony meals too. However, my daughter (11 months) disagrees, and is very effective at proving her point! Thickish yoghurt and porridge is no problem, and she made her way through a bowl of soup by eating chunks of bread soaked in it the other day. She's quite fond of a bit of a play with the spoon and fork, but when she gets bored I just let her stick her hands in. And then clean up...

we give ds greek yoghurt so he can eat it with his hands.

but then i wouldn't call porridge or yoghurt a "meal" as such. i was referring to things like bolognese and sheperds pie and lasagne that some people think can only be eaten with a spoon.

My daughter has insisted on feeding herself with her fingers since she was 9 months old and is now almost 13 months. One thing you could try which she really enjoys is a fork for cubes of soft fruit. She has a fork and I have one and I load one with a bit of fruit while she tries to stab other bits. When she gets cross because she can't do it very well, she can pick up the other fork and feed herself the fruit while I load the abandoned fork with more fruit. It also works pretty well with chicken, cubes of bread and vegetables. This way she's getting some practice at getting the fork in her mouth neatly but not getting too frustrated because she can't get the food.

DS (18m) is fantastic with both a spoon and a fork and just starting to get to grips with a (plastic) knife. The way I did it was have two spoons, one for me, one for him, and we'd take turns using it, gradually with me doing it less and less. Once he mastered the spoon, the rest came easily.