dd2 3.5 inappropriate behaviour? A bit delicate! What do I say ?

[chankins]

dd2 is 3.5 mo and recently has been .... erm...how do I put it, touching herself a lot - she does it on the sofa, (at first I didn't realise what she was doing, I just thought she kept having little rests by herself) but now it is fairly obvious, and she does it around other people. I know its natural and normal and I don't have a problem with it really, but how do I tackle talking to her about it without saying the wrong thing ? She gets very cross if I tell her to stop or try to distract her! Should she be doing it this much, it is quite a lot! any advice welcome, never had this delicate issue with dd1.

I just told ds1 (now 5) that while it gives you a nice feeling, it is something that you do in private, and when he does it tell I tell him he can stop or go to his room.

DD does this sometimes. I just tell her to stop, and that it is something private.

She does get a bit embarrassed, but it is something that children must learn is not suitable in public.

Try to ignore it and it will go away eventually. Its hard as its just something she's discovered is nice and doesn't see any reason not to do. My DD did the same thing, I think she was a bit younger, when she was wearing her nightie and no knickers. I'd just say something like , 'stop fiddling with your bottom ,darling, you'll get germs/wee on your fingers'. We used to have a male babysitter and one day he came round and there she was on the sofa,in her nightie, legs akimbo going for it . Didn't know quite where to put ourselves, anyway she doesn't do it much any more and much less obviously so I guess its become less of a novelty...LOL.....good luck, its quite normal, girls are just as bad as boys.

yes I just say "Don't touch your bits when people are watching, it's rude"

same as picking nose

lol at babysitter walking in clutterdup! I'll now be thankful that dd2 has a more discreet way of doing it!

I introduced the word "appropriate" very early with mine. I say that this or that language or behaviour is not appropriate for children/in public/ in front of Grandma/at the dinner table and so on. I find it very helpful, because it isn't necessarily condemning the language or the behaviour but the context if you see what I mean.
Mind you, you do have to put up with the two year old moral police wagging their finger and saying "Not propriate mummmy" if you let out a swear word!

ok I'll try saying these things to her gently.Perhaps tell her she can go to her room on her own if she has to do it. I just didn't want to say the wrong thing that might make her feel ashamed or something. I have started saying things to both dds along the lines of theyr are your private bits, not for anyone else to see, etc, as they both went through a phase of pulling pants down in front of others and generally being very embarrassing. my mil thinks this is fine in young children but I;m afraid I'm a bit more prudish, and don't like them to run around on the beach naked etc. Just the way I was brought up I guess.

I guess if you go down the "it feels nice, but it is a private thing" route then there is nothing intrinsically embarassing about that?
I mean there is nothing to make her feel that she should be embarassed, just that it is private.